Thought For The Day

“Anything you lose from being honest, you never really had to begin with, my love.” (Jessican Lanyadoo)

AND

“Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the ones God intends for you.” (Unknown)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Is It The Best Course In Life To Be Totally Honest And Forthcoming?

Is it the best course in life to be totally honest and forthcoming about one’s feelings and inner truths? I have traditionally felt it was until recently, when it seems as if me expressing myself as openly as I have, is only causing me and plenty of others greater distress.

I speak openly on my blog about the harmful addictive past I lived and do the same in recovery meetings, with friends over the phone, and everywhere else I go as well. In doing so, people have quite often misunderstood me and in turn, labeled me with plenty of their projections. This has frequently lead to me feeling as if I caused myself more drama by being so forthcoming.

In the process, I’ve become overly lonely and feel like an outcast in society, tending to feel lately that I’m still that little kid back in grammar school who was always the last to be picked in group events like in gym class.

People seem to like me from afar when they only know me a little and see me expressing those truths in meetings and such. Yet, when they get to know me better and see my total honesty up front and center, they are inclined to shy away from me and I end up being more alone than not.

I don’t have many close friends in life much in part because of my honesty. Yet, it keeps me asking the same question lately, do I keep this up?

Do I keep telling people about my life through the stories I go through, through what I’ve grown from and did? Do I keep myself in the firing line of people misunderstanding me and then projecting their own stuff back onto me, when I could just remain silent and say nothing?

Is my blog really helping anyone with all the honesty I put forth?

Is this writing even helping me being as honest as I am?

Is sharing my full truth even God’s will for me?

These are all the questions I ponder on most days as of late because back in the day when I wasn’t being honest and lived more in deception, it seems like I had way more friends and way less painful drama.

I’m not even sure what my purpose is in writing about this today, but in the spirit of all truthfulness, this isn’t even what I was going to post today, as I opted to scrap an entire 675-word article about something else that I felt would only cause me greater pain in publishing.

So, I’m at a crossroads right now in life that I know is being affected by the pain I keep having to go through, by the throngs of people who keep misunderstanding me seeing that I can’t seem to find a way to communicate to everyone successfully, and because no matter how hard I try to change my past and be a good, loving, Christ-centered person in the present, I feel like I keep failing and keep being judged that I’m more of a problem, than a helpful solution.

If you’ve ever felt like this in your life, then know I’m truly sorry for that, as it’s an extremely sad place to be in. I have great compassion for you, as living on this Earth in a life of truth and making ourselves completely vulnerable and open isn’t easy and probably never will be.

Nevertheless, I trudge ever onward, asking for forgiveness to those who have misunderstood me and taken my words in ways that I never intended. I’m not perfect and am flawed like I’m sure we all are in some way. But in the end, I know I can only keep on, keeping on, as my spiritual teacher once said, and hope that somehow my being as honest and forthcoming as I am about my life, is still doing what God wants me to be doing and is actually helping me and others as well…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

“My mother would take the Band-Aid off, clean the wound, and say, ‘Things that are covered don’t heal well.’ Mother was right. Things that are covered do not heal well.” (T.D. Jakes)

AND

“You can’t patch a wounded soul with a Band-Aid.” (Michael Connelly)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

A Few Words On Those Band-Aids For An Addiction

Many people often attempt to use Band-Aids on their addictions, but in the long run they never work. That’s because the problem isn’t in managing the substance of the addiction itself, it’s with something much deeper in the addict themselves.

First, here are five examples of what a Band-Aid looks like with an addiction:

  1. Taking Antabuse to prevent the consumption of alcohol.
  2. Taking Methadone, Suboxone, or any other medication to stop the consumption of opiates and other drugs.
  3. Restricting one’s access to the Internet on their phone or computer with a password to stop the watching of pornographic material.
  4. Using Chantix, “The Patch” or vaping to stop smoking cigarettes.
  5. Getting a gastric bypass, “the sleeve”, or having one’s mouth clamped shut to prevent overeating.

While each of these Band-Aids can be used to help one reach recovery, in and of themselves, they won’t ever prevent the addiction from returning, as they only put a temporary stop to the usage of the substance of the addiction.

I once knew a guy who kept trying to drink alcohol while on Antabuse. I knew another who became addicted to Methadone while trying to quit opiates. Then there was a person I knew that had Internet restrictions placed on their phone and computer and just went to the library to use their computers there to watch porn. I’ve also known people to smoke while taking Chantix or to vape even more than they once smoked. And I’ve even known a few people who had surgery to deal with their overeating and watched them lose several hundred pounds only to gain it back in a year or two.

To fully prevent an addiction from returning, it honestly takes a lot more than using a Band-Aid. The only solution I’ve ever found that worked was through the 12 Steps of recovery, as they were the only thing that delved deep within me to figure out why I was succumbing to the addictions in the first place. They helped me perform “surgery” on myself to remove the unwanted character defects that regularly drove me into all my addiction behaviors. But most importantly, they helped me find a closer relationship to my Higher Power, God, who ultimately showed me I didn’t need any type of Band-Aid to remain clean and sober from an addiction.

Unfortunately, people want the quick fix these days, especially when it comes to stopping an unwanted addiction. That’s why they look for those Band-Aids. I have to laugh every time I see those late-night commercials for those resorts and spas that promise freedom from addiction in a mere 30 days of staying at them. I truly feel sad for those I meet who believe Band-Aids like this solidly work in the long run because they never do.

I’ve never met a single person in over 22 years of exposure to the 12 Steps and the rooms of recovery that have used a Band-Aid and remained clean and sober for very long. Can it happen, well, I’m sure it can, but then the dependency is always on that Band-Aid to remain clean and sober. And honestly, that doesn’t usually lead to a very strong recovery.

So, if you happen to be someone who’s struggling with an addiction and considering using a Band-Aid to be the end all for it, just remember, it may work temporarily. But if you truly want a healthy and long-lasting recovery, you eventually are going to have to face the very thing you are avoiding by using a Band-Aid, that being all the muck deep within you, as that’s precisely what you need to face in 12 Step Recovery to find freedom for good from your addiction…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson