One of the homework assignments I give each of my sponsees when they reach the 6th and 7th step part of the process in recovery from an addiction is to make a list of their defects of character, or put in another way, an honest report of their shortcomings.
We all have them, but not everyone is always forthcoming when it comes to listing them. That’s because the ego often fights this task, solely because it’s an exercise in practicing humility, which is a trait that most addicts tend to struggle showing.
That being said, I truly believe it’s just as important for a sponsor to remain humble when working with others in the steps, which is why I decided to make a list of my own shortcomings.
So here are the top ten I’m still working diligently on in my own program of recovery:
- Doubting God’s will for me.
- Struggling to trust in my body’s ability to heal itself.
- Controlling others mostly when I am feeling unsafe.
- Obsessing about things that haven’t happened yet.
- Yelling at my partner when my pain levels are high.
- Thinking I’m still dealing with a punishing God.
- Taking another person’s inventory.
- Taking ownership of someone else’s judgments of me.
- Blaming myself for things that aren’t my fault.
- Worrying what other people think about me.
While I’m sure there are plenty of other defects of character I could come up with, I’m grateful I can show humility today in admitting to at these, as there was a good stretch of my life where I thought I had no shortcomings at all, or to put it rather bluntly, that my shit didn’t stink.
Thank goodness, I don’t believe that anymore and am able to demonstrate a little more humility in life these days, just like I ask of each of my sponsees. It really is a vital part in their spiritual growths, but it’s also a vital part as well for anyone else in this world who’s on a journey to becoming One with the Light…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson