The Downside Of All Those Sexual Allegations Going On…

Ever since the Harvey Weinstein sexual allegations surfaced a few months ago, there has been a tidal wave of sexual accusations being made towards other people, almost one after another, that so far there seems to be no end to. While I’m all for the truth coming out, especially with those who may have ever sexually taken advantage of someone else, I do see two downsides to all of what’s going on.

The first downside is the potential for one of those “witch hunts” to occur. What I mean by that is accusing someone of things that they are actually innocent of and in the process tarnishing their name and career. And unfortunately, people tend to live in low vibrational behaviors sometimes, which translates into them having a grudge towards another and deciding to accuse them of something that may or may not hold any truth, solely with the purpose of inflicting a wound upon them. I’ve had this very thing happen to me many times in life and regrettably, I also have done it to others in my past. So, it wouldn’t surprise me if some of these sexual allegations going on within the entertainment industry or the political realm or the corporate world right now aren’t ultimately grounded in solid truth.

The second downside is the impact this seems to be having on everyday people. Take my one friend in ministry who confided in me recently that they are afraid to even put their hand on a parishioner’s leg or shoulder anymore when it appears they are needing some comfort, because they don’t want to ever be accused wrongly of anything. Yet, prior to all these allegations becoming major news, this never was a concern for them because their intentions were always pure. Then there’s others I know who are in similar positions where offering hugs is just a part of their good nature and connection with God, yet they are concerned now too for them being taken out of context. And lastly, there’s me who’s now questioning my work with sponsees because of all these sexual allegations. Quite often in my recovery work, especially in the sex and love addiction realm, conversations arise surrounding topics that I’d never have with the general masses. While each of those conversations are merely for the purposes of helping me to understand those I sponsor, I’m starting to second guess myself and question whether I shouldn’t even have them anymore either, even though they’ve helped the sponsor/sponsee relationship grow in trust.

In light of all this, I fear that the end result of all these sexual charges going on is leading to a world where people will withdraw even more from showing any type of care or concern or affection towards each other. Will offering hugs or gentle reassuring touches to those in pain go away for fear of being accused of something? Will having conversations around any type of sex or sexuality stop altogether for fear of them being taken out of context? Will people simply start becoming cold towards each other? I say this lightly, and almost humorously, but I wonder if Jesus was alive today doing the things He once did, hugging, loving, touching, and closely caring for so many people, would all that too be misconstrued or might someone even use His signs of love as a way of getting back at Him by accusing him wrongly?

So, in the end, I’ve been left wondering, where are all these sexual allegations leading? What will be the final result of this? I don’t know, but it is my hope that we’ll all come to a place of balance and truth, one where we aren’t cold and callous towards each, and instead are still showing each other signs of unconditional love and light without fear and worry…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Can You Imagine Having To Relive The Worst Period Of Your Life For Eternity?

Can you imagine having to relive the worst period of your life for eternity? That was the premise of an hour scripted science fiction/fantasy type of series I watched the other day where a person was sent to Hell and forced to experience that very thing over and over again. For me, the single darkest period of my life I’d hope to never relive again was when I received a phone call from my sister back in October of 1996 letting me know that my father had committed suicide.

If you’ve never had to go through something like this with someone close to you, then you probably can’t understand the total shock it does to your system. When I learned a friend’s brother committed suicide recently and witnessed the paralysis it left them in, I could so relate, as I can still vividly recall how I felt after talking to my sister on that dark day over two decades ago now.

Grief from a suicide affects everyone in incredible ways, so much more so than when a loved one passes away for other reasons that aren’t by their own hands. When my father took his own life, I became numb for almost three years of my life and lived in addictive behaviors to deal with it. My sister, on the other hand, kept blaming herself that she could have done more to save him and took even longer to get over that feeling.

There are also those who immediately go into huge fits of anger and rage for extended periods, while others spiral down into deep depressions for extremely long periods of time after learning of a loved one’s suicide. On some level, I experienced both of those as well after my father’s death, which is why I shudder at the thought of ever having to go through another suicide again in this life with someone close to me.

While I’ve often flirted with the thought of taking my own life on many of those high pain-filled days I keep going through, I’m constantly brought back to the memory of how deeply my father’s suicide affected both my sister and I. That is something I never wish to inflict upon anyone and truly, it’s probably the most selfish act one can ever do in life.

Now we are entering that time of the year again, the Holidays, where suicides become far more prevalent. That’s because so many people experience such devastating loneliness during the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years’ time frame. If by some chance you are someone who has been considering doing this, please know there is help out there. And if you are someone who’s recently experienced this with a loved one, know you can and will heal from this in time. And even though neither of you may believe it in this moment with all the dejection you are experiencing, there are people out there who do love you and I’m one of them, even though I may not even know you in person.

I love you because I am you and have been exactly where you are in this very moment. And just to show you how much I mean that, I ask you that you click my contact form to reach out to me and I promise you in doing so that I will immediately respond, even by phone if you leave me a number. Because I do care, and so does God. But more importantly, please remember you really are loved, even if your brain keeps trying to tell you otherwise…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

How Do You Deal With Potholes When They Appear In Your Life?

I woke up one morning not too long ago on a cold, rainy, morning and saw a crew of city workers outside shoveling hot tar for the umpteenth millionth time into a number of potholes on the street outside. Sadly, they’ll be back again in the Spring to do the exact same process all over again, as every six months that tar becomes worn away enough to return to the same pothole-strewn street. As I watched them for a minute, wishing they could grasp the concept that repaving the entire street would create a more permanent solution, I saw a parallel to how life can normally be for many of us.

How often do you look for those temporary patches, i.e. quick fixes, when those potholes appear in your life? Potholes like health issues, relationship problems, financial woes, addictions, and the like.

All too frequently, I myself sought out many of those temporary patches that merely covered up an underlying problem and never led to any real solution that fixed it. Patches like having to take more and more medications to cover up what was actually causing me depression and anxiety. Patches like leaving one partner for another, jumping from relationship to relationship, constantly thinking it was always them and not me, believing the next one would be better. Patches like borrowing more and more money to fix a problem that only created an ever-increasing pile of debt I wasn’t ever going to be able to repay. And patches like attempting to put limits on things I was becoming addicted to, such as having one drink, or one hit of a drug, or looking at 10 minutes of porn, or gambling $20 at a casino, even though I never did keep to any of them.

That’s because temporary patches, no matter what they are, are just that, temporary. Like that tar being placed in those potholes on the street in front of my house that will become totally undone in six months from now or less, all of the quick fixes I ever utilized in life constantly became undone for me at some point as well. That’s how I learned the only solution was to repave my entire life with better streets. While the upfront cost of this has been a lot more frustration, hassle, and quite often pain, I know in the long run it will pay off.

Unfortunately, many choose to never go through this process and play that long game so to speak. That’s because human beings tend to be impatient people, which in turn cause them to regularly place hot tar into their potholes, solely to just keep going on in life hoping they won’t miss a step. Yet, eventually this action always catches up to them, causing them to only have to seek more of that tar to refill the hole, never fully grasping that if they just faced the pothole head-on, they could find a way to repave it so that it won’t keep reappearing.

Thankfully I’m not trying to fill my potholes anymore with tar. Instead, I’m working on repaving my own existence with the help of 12 Step recovery and a ton of faith. Faith that God can and will repave me in a way so that I’m not always going to be a pot-hole strewn street who is in need of regular reoccurrences of repair…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

How Do You Know When Your Higher Power Is Providing Guidance And Direction?

How do you know when your Higher Power is providing guidance and direction? That’s a really tough question and something I’ve often struggled with, especially as of late when it comes to my health and healing.

Lately in fact, it really feels like God has been on radio silence with me in that specific area and I have begun to question whether the advice I get from friends is actually also coming from God or is it simply that, advice?

Is the suggestion I’ve had a few times now about taking some new pill to help with my pain levels that’s basically cannabis without the THC component (the part that gets a person high), just friends trying to help or it is God using my friends to provide me guidance and direction? Is the suggestion I’ve had from a number of others about taking medical marijuana coming from God talking to me through them or again, just advice? How about all those who suggest I go back to doctors and try all the new medicines that have emerged in the past few years since the last round of medicine I took that got me so very sick. Is that God talking to me through them, or again just people offering their friendly advice?

I could go on and on with the many suggestions I’ve received in recent years and frankly, it hurts my head to think about whether any of them are from God or simply from friends who care about me and don’t want to see me hurting so bad. Unfortunately, I don’t have a clear answer to any of it, because none of those suggestions have ever resonated on any level that I’d say was felt in my heart and soul. Instead, each have basically rolled around in my brain creating only more confusion and frustration.

I know there’s one school of thought that says that we need to take blind action and God will show up if that action is meant to be on our path. But there’s also that another school of thought that says one will know without doubt when it’s time to take action for God and if there’s still doubt present, then the only action is to be still and wait until the doubt isn’t there.

I tend to be more on that latter school of thought because every single time I’ve taken action when I’ve been in doubt, the results were terrible and only created me greater pain and frustration. On the other hand, I’ve had great success in waiting upon God, although it has required a much higher level of patience. Take my trip to see my family in Nashville recently. It wouldn’t have been something I did without having received a message that came pretty clear to me during prayer and meditation one day. It had been almost three years since my last visit to them, which was by all means was an emotional and physical nightmare back then. But in this case, I followed the conviction I felt was coming from God and the trip ended up being a huge success and a peaceful and joyful one at that.

Thus, in light of that, if I was going answer the question I first posed, that being how do I know if God is providing me guidance and direction, so far it really comes down to a feeling, a knowing, and a surety where no doubt is present. And as of right now, I haven’t felt any of that when it comes to my health and healing, except for the things I’m already doing to become healthier in life.

And while it may seem like I’m not getting better on far too many of days, the last thing I want is to jump into one of those pieces of advice and find myself in a situation like this person I learned of recently who got tired of waiting for answers from God and ended up having a thousand more problems going on with their health because of it. And given my incredible sensitivity to things I take internally, I can only imagine how bad it could get if I decided to wing it as well and not wait upon God for a clear answer.

So, for now, I am choosing to keep waiting on God for clear guidance and direction. Because ultimately, I believe that when God is providing those things, it’s something I will know and trust without doubt, without confusion, and without questioning. But if I still have any of that going on, I find it’s usually just my ego that tries to take control, by convincing me that any one of those friend’s pieces of advice is far better than waiting upon God. And isn’t it through all the waiting that cultivates a much deeper level of faith and trust in a Higher Power? That’s something I’m going to continue to ponder as I wait for God to answer…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson