Category: Words To Live By

It’s relatively easy to tell a lie, especially when we think we’ll get away with it. There’s also those situations where we think it’s better to tell a lie, then to tell the truth, because of the pain it might cause someone else. But as they say in courtrooms all across America each and every day, I believe it’s always important to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

The sole reason why a person ever tells any kind of lie is because of some type of fear they have inside. Most of the time, telling lies is a pattern that begins back in childhood. When I was a kid, there were countless examples of me breaking something valuable, skipping some type of chore, or getting in trouble at school and lying about each of them. The only reason why I lied about them was due to the fear I had inside about what would happen if I told the truth. But the funny thing about those lies though was that the truth behind them usually seemed to surface at some later point. And whenever that happened, the damage created by my lies were so much worse then what it would have been if I had just told the truth from the onset.

Not all of our childhood lies are discovered though as some are definitely gotten away with. I believe that this is why so many people in this world fail to tell the truth on a consistent basis. Because we got away with some of our lies as a child, our egos start convincing us there was an advantage to telling lies versus the truth. As I grew into my addiction based life, my lies became worse and more numerous. Eventually, I began to believe my own lies and most of my life turned totally dishonest. Unfortunately, when one gets to this point of telling that many lies throughout their life, they can’t keep them all straight and people start to see just how much of a liar they really are. Sadly, this is where my life took me and I became a person that no one could trust.

I allowed my ego to constantly convince me that many of the lies I was telling were for the better because of the pain they might either cause me or someone else if I told the truth. A good case in point was with one person I really struggled being around for several years. I remained their friend only because of the things they were offering me in that friendship but not because I really liked them. When that person confronted me time and time again and asked if I truly loved them and considered them a close friend, I’d lie each time and say I did only because of the fear of becoming alone and losing those things they were providing me. Ironically, that truth was revealed by my behaviors after years went by and the pain I caused this person was much greater then it ever should have been if I had ended the friendship permanently years earlier. And also important to note is the fact that the pain I felt inside was just as unbearable over my lies to this person.

To put it simply…

People lie to others for the fear of losing someone.

People even lie to others for the fear of having someone.

People lie to others for the fear of not feeling important enough.

People even lie to others for the fear of feeling too important.

People lie to others for the fear of being punished.

People even lie to others for the fear of not being punished.

People lie to others for the fear of hurting themselves.

People even lie to others for the fear of hurting another.

People lie to others for the fear of not getting what they want.

People even lie to others for the fear of getting what they want.

Are you getting my point? People lie to others for an infinite number of reasons but it’s always based upon some type of fear they have inside. In the long run though, the best thing for them to do is tell the truth from the beginning. A lie is like poison that eats away at the soul. It drives us away from God, from love, and from the light. It brings darkness upon our hearts which only pushes us to tell even more lies. Eventually we become a complete liar and we can’t keep any of our lies straight. And that’s when the real truths start coming to the surface. Often, it’s too late at that point where the damage from our lies is too much to repair. So isn’t it better to tell the truth right from the start and not ever get to this point? I am not a liar anymore specifically for these reasons and I put the truth out there about myself for everyone to see all the time now. I will admit that sometimes telling the truth does hurt not only someone else, but also myself, but I find in doing so that the pain is much less up front then waiting and worrying for my lie to rear its ugly head later.

If you are someone who has the tendency to tell any type of lie here or there, then I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and realize you are telling one lie too much. You are not only hurting others with even your slightest of lies, you are also hurting yourself too and putting your health at risk. If you want to start being a person filled with a lot more love and light, then start by telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth and know in doing so that you’re making your life and this world a whole light brighter…

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Sometimes I think the person that’s been the hardest upon myself is really me. Throughout my life, I have had the tendency to beat myself up about various things I’ve done that I’m not very proud of. In recent years though, I’ve come to see how this type of self-abuse does nothing good for me whatsoever. Because of this, I’ve started practicing forgiving myself on a regular basis and am finding much better results.

Up until just a few years ago, I did a lot of things in my life that one would probably give a label of “pretty bad” towards. You might say that many of those things I did were filled with a tremendous amount of darkness and brought a lot of pain to other people’s lives, because the reality was they did. And for years, I punished myself over them by launching many waves of verbal assaults straight at my heart or falling deep into spirals of anxiety, depression and despair. In fact, it became common for others to see me living in self-pity on most days. The idea of forgiving myself for all those things I did which hurt others seemed too difficult to do, so I fell into a guilt and shame based life. By doing that, I ended up constantly repeating the same behaviors over and over again, which only led to me hurting even more people, including myself.

So what was the value of living with this guilt and shame from those terrible things I’ve done? And what good did it really do to punish myself time and time again over them? Was was it so hard for me to fully forgive myself for any of those terrible things I did?

I think the answer to all three questions was always the same. It’s my belief that my ego often convinced me that if I lived with guilt and shame and if I kept on punishing myself instead of practicing forgiveness, that I would never do any of those terrible things again. But it didn’t work. It just led me into doing other dark things and living in even more darkness, which in turn led me back into more guilt and shame, and more self-punishment. It was a vicious cycle that never ended.

The only way I ever found to end this vicious cycle once and for all was to seek God’s help. Left to my own vices, I was never able to find forgiveness for myself for any of the terrible things I did in life that brought great pain to others. But through God, I discovered the one thing lacking in my life was a deep love for myself.

You see, the more I did those terrible things, the more I didn’t love myself. And the more I didn’t love myself, the more I did even more of those terrible things. But when I started seeking God so much more in life, I started loving myself a lot more. And the more I began loving myself a lot more, the more I stopped wanting to do those terrible things. That’s only because that new and improved self-love helped me to see just how sick I became when I punished myself and lived in all that guilt, shame, despair, anxiety, and depression.

I’m totally convinced that forgiveness for any terrible thing we’ve done begins with asking God for help. I’m also convinced that God forgives us instantly and it’s only our egos that believe God doesn’t forgive us. The help I received from God after asking for it was to love myself so much more than I ever did previously in my life. In all those years when I didn’t have much love for myself, I really chose to live in a lot of dark behavior that ended up hurting so many of God’s children. But through God’s help, I turned all of this around and learned how to love myself so much more. Over time, that self-love showed me how to forgive myself for all those past terrible things I’ve done, but even more importantly, it prevented me from wanting to do any of those terrible things ever again.

So are you someone like I once was, who is living with a lot of guilt and shame, anxiety and depression, or despair and self-pity because of terrible things you’ve done in the past? If you are, I encourage you to take a moment, breathe, and know the only thing standing in your way of healing from them, is yourself. Ask God to start helping you love yourself a lot more and I can promise you that in time, you will. And when you do, I know you will begin to see that punishing yourself is not a very self-loving action. Instead, you will find that forgiving yourself is and that’s when you’ll experience true-freedom from all of your past transgressions.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

I truly believe it’s important to love everyone equally, including those we may not even like. Unfortunately, the ego often doesn’t let this happen as it has the tendency to convince us with any number of reasons why we should withhold it. Sadly I experienced this first hand a few nights ago when I was on the receiving end of it from one of the members of my partner’s brother’s family.

My partner has a rather large extended family that includes several aunts and uncles, a brother, a sister and a bunch of nieces and nephews. This is quite the contrast to my remaining family that consists of only my sister, her husband, and her children. For two years now, I have done my best to try to expand my family beyond blood relations to that of my partner’s extended family who live in his surrounding area. While I have been treating all of them with as much love and light I can muster, I haven’t been feeling the same in return from any of them. This became very apparent at his brother’s house the other night during a game night that had been organized. At one point, his brother’s wife commented on how nice the ring was that I was wearing and wondered where I got it. When I responded it was from my partner and that it had been his father’s ring, I was shocked at her response. She was rather upset that I was given this gift and said that a piece of jewelry like that should be sacred and reserved for their family. When I responded that I thought I was actually part of their family because of my relationship with my partner, I was very quickly told how I wasn’t. And for the next hour, I was judged by them on various aspects of who I was, how I was living, how weak my relationship appeared to them, how becoming a member of their family takes a long time and how I still wouldn’t be considered family even if my partner and I were married any time soon.

All of this saddened me greatly when I left their home at the end of that evening because it made me realize just how much the presence of love and light had been lacking. What frustrated me the most though was knowing that they are all very devout church going Christians trying to follow in Christ’s footsteps. And one of the greatest things I know that’s true about Christ is that He loved and treated everyone equally and like family. When I had asked them about this principle, I received their response that none of us can ever be like Christ and offer that much love. What they don’t understand though is that we all can be just as loving and embracing as Christ was. It’s only our our egos that tell us we can’t through any number of internal fears or resentments.

While I know I can’t make anyone like or love me, nor can I make any of my partner’s family treat me as part of their own, I can still do my part to live like Christ once did here on Earth. What that means for me is that I will continue to love all of Chris’s extended family members even knowing how they feel about me. While I don’t claim myself to be a Christian because I try to be all-encompassing of every walk of faith, I do cherish the principles that Christ taught and try my best to follow in His footsteps. Christ truly loved everyone, including those that hated him and he worked hard to move beyond his human ego to achieve that. I’m sure that He struggled at times internally with the people that didn’t like him, but his connection to God helped him to overcome that. Christ isn’t the only one that has been able to do this as there are many examples of people in this world who have walked a similar path. Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and Mother Theresa are just some of the names that come to mind when I think of what Christ’s love once looked like.

The point I’m trying to make in all of this is that every person in this world has the same capacity to love and treat each and every person equally, no matter what, just like Christ once did. My partner’s brother’s family and all his other extended family members as well have that same potential. The only thing blocking them from achieving that is their ego which holds them in places of judging others and loving only certain people considered to be a part of their family. For Christ, and the many others who have lived their lives embracing as much love and light as they could offer, everyone was considered a part of their family worthy and deserving of their love. Hopefully one day, all of my partner’s extended family members will realize this, but until them, I will do as Christ once did, and love them with all my heart, mind, and soul.

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson