Thought For The Day

“Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.” (Criss Jami)

AND

“At the heart of all anger, all grudges, and all resentment, you’ll always find a fear that hopes to stay anonymous.” (Donald L. Hicks)

AND

“The wound will never heal until the grudge is completely gone and replaced with forgiveness.” (Unknown)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Daily Reflection

“Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.” (Dave Willis)

When I was molested at 12 years old by a male coach on the swim and dive team I was on, I lived with anger, resentment, and basically just a huge grudge towards the man for several decades after. What I never realized though during all those years was how much that grudge grew worse towards not just him, but many others who carried the energy of him. Anyone who reminded me of this man in any way, shape, or form essentially became him and I’d go on to hate them as well, even when they definitely didn’t deserve it.

You see, grudges really don’t hurt the person they’re being carried towards, they only hurt the person that’s carrying it. And boy, did this grudge hurt me, as it pushed away so many good people from my life, especially when I treated them as if they were my molester.

I used to think that all that anger made me strong and is what carried me through all those years I held firmly onto that grudge, but really, it didn’t make me strong at all. It merely left me in a constant state of fear of what was hidden behind it.

Thankfully, I finally faced that fear on a spiritual retreat in my early 30’s and forgave the man who robbed me of my sexual innocence, once and for all. The freedom I felt afterwards was so liberating and I’m happy to say that I haven’t seen the energy of him in any of the men I’ve grown close to ever since. Yet what I find is even more important is that I have nothing but sadness, compassion, and a God-based unconditional love for someone who I can see now was simply just spiritually sick and had fallen away from living in the Light long before.

And overall, I can clearly see now that grudges truly don’t ever make anyone strong, they only make one bitter like this one did to me for far too many years. But forgiving and letting the grudge go didn’t make me weak either, because in the end, it ultimately set me free…

Dear God, I pray that I never hold onto any grudge again in this life, not even for a single moment, because I know that it will only end up hurting me in the long run the more I hold onto it, and will do the very thing that’s the last thing I’d ever want in the process, which is to feel separate from You. So please help me have the strength to always forgive, no matter how hard it may ever seem, as I know in forgiving I’ll be set free and remain close to You.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

“Wisdom comes once we learn to become still. In the silence of the heart one learns the journey of the wise.” (Unknown)

AND

“The original Hebrew root of be still doesn’t mean “Be Quiet”; it means “LET GO.” (Unknown)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

The Daunting Task Of Becoming Still For The Recovering Addict…

Just a few days ago I wrote an article about the importance of having healthy outlets for the overactive addict’s mind to be regularly engaged in. But just as important is something that’s probably the hardest action for someone recovering from an addiction and that’s becoming still at times in sobriety. Unfortunately, an addict’s brain, especially a newly sober one, is rarely structured in that way. Instead, most have been programmed to be the exact opposite.

If somehow an addict could quantify the exact amount of time they actively sought or engaged in their addiction, I’m sure the total tally would be staggering. That’s precisely why an addict’s brain becomes programmed to never be still because it’s constantly been engrossed in the pursuance and use of the substance of their addiction.

Thus, being still is a completely foreign thing to an addict’s brain and the very reason why things like prayer and meditation feel next to impossible for many who find their way to sobriety and recovery from an addiction. For others, being still can also cause incredible anxiety because in that action alone they are being forced to face the very thing they’ve always run from, that being themselves.

Nevertheless, an addict’s brain is a lot like a young puppy, having to always wander from here to there, from this thing to that thing, constantly craving attention. All that energy of seeking and indulging in the substance of an addiction creates a very unstill mind. Hence the reason why it’s so hard for an addict to be still once they give up their addiction because their mind isn’t geared for that in any way, shape, or form. This is much in part why I tend believe addicts often feel they have attention deficit disorder, because they have created the very condition within their brain after all those years of engaging in their addiction.

But a squirrely brain can be unprogrammed. It just takes work to get there and it begins with small acts of being still. I think it’s significant to note here though that being still doesn’t necessarily mean only prayer and meditation. It can also mean listening to music in a chair, or sitting in a park and observing nature, or even doing something like staring at a candle for a while, all of which I’ve done at times to help slow my overactive brain down. In addition, I should mention that becoming more still in life can even translate into doing things like working on puzzles or painting or drawing or reading, as each help unprogram the mind from being so erratic.

The bottom line is that while being still is often a daunting task for a recovering addict, it is a crucial part of their growth in recovery and it begins by taking baby steps. I was once one of those people who couldn’t sit still for even five minutes, but thankfully, I’ve become a lot more comfortable with it for far longer periods these days. So, trust me, if I can do it, so can you…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson