Picture this scene for a moment. You’re on a date taking a walk in a beautiful park and you notice how breathtaking the sunset is in front of you. You can’t imagine yourself being there with anyone else other than the person you’re on this date with and suddenly you begin to feel a little romantic inside. Do you (a) show them a public display of affection (PDA) or (b) hold back and just say something nice to them instead? This is the dilemma that’s often faced when it comes to being in a gay relationship and going out on a date.
My partner’s and my answer to this question are quite opposite of each other at this present time. I’m truly a romantic person at heart who frequently feels moved to express that side of me when moments such as a breathtaking sunset appear may before me. My partner on the other hand is far more reserved. Unless we are surrounded completely with other gay people already showing affection, he usually feels extremely uncomfortable expressing any type of romanticism towards me. Yet he’s also a person who desperately wants gay people to be more accepted in this country and have equal rights, as do I. But I know to get there; it will take action and having to walk through fear of allowing the world to see whom we really are.
What I mean by this is that the world is never going to change and fully accept same-sex couples if we constantly live in fear and hide our feelings for each other. I should clarify that I’m not talking about “sucking face” or “groping” or doing any other type of PDA that tends to make most anyone feel uncomfortable. What I’m talking about is what you might commonly see between a heterosexual couple when they’re at a park, a mall, the movies, or at dinner. There they might hold hands, embrace, or offer a quick kiss on the lips to show their love for each other. But sadly, same-sex couples still live in a world that’s very anti-gay. This often leads so many of us to stay relatively in the closet and never openly express our love for each other in public at all.
I don’t want to be in the closet anymore on any level and keep living in fear. What I do want though is to be the change I wish to see in the world, as it was alleged Gandhi once said. If I remain in fear the rest of my life waiting for everyone else to change enough to where it becomes fully accepted of a same sex couple doing something such as holding hands in public, I may never see that day arrive. Martin Luther King Jr. didn’t wait for his race to gain equal rights, he led them there by standing up to the oppression and inequality that existed all around him. I believe a similar type of movement must happen with those who are gay if we are ever going to see the day where the majority of people can fully accept same-sex couples.
So while the idea of PDA such as holding hands, kissing, or embracing in public may concern many gay people like my partner, I’m willing to walk through that fear today and do any of those things. It’s my hope in doing so, that I’m helping to usher in a new era, one where one’s sexual preference won’t really matter, and one where a little romantic PDA between a same-sex couple won’t have to be avoided in fear either.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson