Now That Same-Sex Marriage Has Become Legal…

Now that same-sex marriage has become legal across the entire United States, it seems as if it’s also opened the door for the next wave of court battles, including one where judges are refusing to marry same-sex couples because of their religious beliefs.

Here in Toledo, Municipal Court Judge Allen McConnell was the first to do so, stating it was due to his own personal and Christian beliefs. Up until now, I haven’t weighed in on this issue at all, solely because I actually understand both sides of it. If McConnell truly does feel it would be going against the God he serves, I totally get his dilemma. On the other hand though, the same-sex couple that was refused is saying it’s in McConnell’s duties of his elected position to perform the marriage regardless of his personal beliefs, which I completely get as well.

Being in a same-sex relationship myself, I could easily just take the same stance as the denied couple. But, frankly, after thinking about my own spiritual beliefs for a moment, I realized I too might do exactly as McConnell did if something was asked of me that went against them.

The reality is that there are plenty of other judges out there in every single state including Ohio, who would marry a same-sex couple at this time. In fact, Toledo Municipal Court Judge William Connelly, Jr. did so for the refused couple later on the very same afternoon they were initially turned down.

Look, while I’m all for having equal rights, I’m not one who desires to add any stress to my spiritual journey in life when it’s not necessary. Sometimes I feel that we as human beings have the tendency to want everyone to conform to what we feel we deserve and when we don’t get it, we engage in great battles, many often legal, to get our way.

Well now that same-sex marriage battle is over, I wonder if people are going to start the next one by pushing for every single person in our country to support it, especially those in positions of power like McConnell. For me, that’s not how change actually happens. Change happens gradually and often not when someone is pushed into it.

Is it possible that McConnell’s views on this issue could change over time by receiving more guidance and direction from his Higher Power? It’s quite possible, but then again, his views may never change either. But should he be forced into doing something at the present that’s against his personal spiritual beliefs? I genuinely don’t believe so, only because there are so many other local judges willing to marry a same-sex couple. I must say this though. If no judge were willing to marry a same-sex couple in one’s local region, then most likely yes, I’d be willing to head into a legal battle to acquire my constitutional rights.

So in this case and for the present moment, I say why bother rocking the boat and cause more stress, trying to change or force someone into doing something they don’t feel comfortable doing, especially when there are other options available. It’s not my place to judge McConnell on his beliefs and I know the God of my understanding would want me to love him unconditionally like everyone else. Who knows, maybe if we all offered him, and others like him, a lot more of that, his views might change? Now that’s some food for thought isn’t it?

Peace, love, light, and joy,

Andrew Arthur Dawson

Author: Andrew Arthur Dawson

A teacher of meditation, a motivational speaker, a reader of numerology, and a writer by trade, Andrew Arthur Dawson is a spiritual man devoted to serving his Higher Power and bringing a lot more light and love into this world. This blog, www.thetwelfthstep.com is just one of those ways...

6 thoughts on “Now That Same-Sex Marriage Has Become Legal…”

  1. You know I love you,but I cannot refuse to do my job without facing the consequences of being fired for that action. Religion and personal beliefs have no place in a job that is paid by the taxes of everyone. Gay,straight, or whatever. That’s why we have separation of church and state in our government. Do your job or go home.

    1. Yes, that is the argument everyone else is saying. My truth is this though. If I was asked to do something at a job I was working at that conflicted seriously with my spiritual beliefs, like let’s say for example, I was asked by a boss to write an article in support of Fred Phelp’s church. I would refuse, even if it cost me my job. In this case, McConnell has a choice. Could he be fired over it, well I guess he might, but the fact remains, he always has a choice and every right to that choice.

      1. I’m not denying anyone’s right to choose what is right for them unless of course it infringes on someone else’s rights. Why if a doctor truly spiritually believes that being gay is wrong. Should he be allowed to say “wait for the next doctor” to a seriously ill or injured person? We are all human beings and every thing after that is simply a label we as society have attached.

  2. Doctors and nurses have historically treated anyone in need. The doctor, in fact, has a pledge that includes the phrase, “Above all, I must not play at God.” (Interestingly enough, the phrase “First, do no harm” is not part of the Hippocratic Oath, but is found in Epidemics, Book I, of the Hippocratic school: “Practice two things in your dealings with disease: either help or do not harm the patient”.)

    But it’s similar even for me and my work. My job involves payroll; as part of that job, I’m sure I provide pay to people whose beliefs or behavior I abhor or would reject out-of-hand. I am not allowed to say, “Hey, those hateful bastards over there – no pay for them this week,” no matter how much I dislike them, their behaviors or proclamations. If it bothered me, I would be honor-bound to find work elsewhere. Or, I would be equally bound to accept what I did in my job, and do what I could to change the situation I found intolerable.

    In my understanding, the judge, the Kentucky clerk, all of them have the same obligation. Do your job, until you are compelled to stop doing it. To go back to the doctor example: can you imagine a doctor coming to the site of a car crash, and upon seeing the car with a rainbow or marriage equality sticker on the back, saying, “I am bound by my faith not to provide care to homosexuals. In fact, I will make sure that NO doctor, no matter what his or her beliefs are, should ever provide care to these people. And I really don’t care what harm it does.” If such a doctor exists, he or she is in the wrong damn field.

    [By the same token, I get furious with the gay folks who insist that Joe The Baker must provide a cake to gay weddings. (First, I think we’ve already fallen into the “Groomzilla” phase of same-sex marriages – like no one could possibly get married without a $1,000 five-tiered rainbow cake…) Or that Charlotte the Christian Photographer must take pictures. It’s 2015, people – get over this. It’s not like gay-friendly photographers or bakers or florists are all that rare, for crying out loud….even down here, in the heart of the Assemblies of God territory. /end rant/ ]

    So far, my favorite Facebook meme has been a photo of the late gay lead singer for “Queen,” Freddie Mercury. The caption above his photo said, “Never really liked Fat Bottom Girls,” and the bottom caption said, “Did his job anyway.”

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