The 3rd Step in all 12 Step programs can often prove to be quite difficult for so many and that seems to always be due to one of two things: fear and impatience.
If you don’t know what the 3rd Step is, it reads as follows:
“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
This is a big step to take in every person’s recovery from whatever their addiction was. It means letting go of their own ego’s constant attempts at control of having to run the show of their life. The first downside of doing this in most addict’s minds is the fear it brings up.
What’s life going to be like if I turn my will over to a Higher Power?
Is my life going to get worse before it gets better by turning my will over?
These are just two of the many questions that can run through an addict’s mind when they are facing the fear of the 3rd Step.
The other struggle this step also poses for so many addicts is the impatience that generally arises in the process of working on this step.
A simple fact is that most addicts want instant relief, especially when they are relatively new to sobriety and recovery. That’s only because an addict’s mind is all about instant relief. But healing, change, and spiritual growth is gradual and takes time.
Unfortunately, many don’t wait around. They give up before they get to see the good the 3rd Step brings in practicing it to its fullest potential. They allow the fear to get the best of them as they begin to face life on life’s terms. They become impatient on how long it’s taking to see any of those positive changes and promises coming true. And in doing so, they take their will back and usually relapse.
I see this time and time and time again in the rooms of recovery, which is why I tend to believe the 3rd Step is the key to having a long-term and healthy sobriety. In my case, the more I’ve turned my will and life over to my Higher Power, the healthier I’ve become in every area of my life.
Has this process been quick? Not at all. I’ve actually gone through the better part of almost a decade now working my recovery to varying degrees, with the latter four years being the most intense, and while positive changes have arisen from this, they have definitely been slow and gradual to materialize and have built upon themselves over time.
I too struggle with that fear and impatience on many-a-days when it comes to practicing this step. I haven’t found God to be the type of God that makes everything perfect all at once. But I also haven’t let my fear of what I’ve had to face or the impatience of how long it’s taking to reach a better place of health take control. In other words, I’ve never fully taken my will back and relapsed. Because I know in doing so, it will only lead to much worse things happening to me and my life.
So I keep on doing what the 3rd Step says, as best as I can. I continue to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand God. I keep on walking through all the fear and impatience and remain faithful that the longer I do, the better my life is going to get. It’s not easy, but in the long run I know it’s going to be worth far more than what the alternative will bring. Because a life of relapse and addiction will only bring about more pain and suffering and that’s not something I think any of us really desire…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson