Does anyone in your family, immediate or extended, have serious issues, tension or problems with you? I ask this question only for the notion that I used to have a lot of that with my sister and it was chiefly due to my addictions and the behaviors I exhibited because of them. Thankfully, through my recovery work and my relationship with God, I can see that’s changed now. The only reason why I know I can safely say that is for the fact that my sister recently visited me for the first time in almost two years and told me how relaxed she was and how much I’ve changed for the better.
Just to give you an idea of how I used to be when I was around my sister during my addiction-laden years, here are some of the things I once regrettably did:
- Leaving her in my home when she was visiting from out of town while I went out on a “date” with someone.
- Pointing out all her flaws instead of focusing on my own and instead of lifting the good parts of her up.
- Bringing strangers to her home for family get-togethers that were really nothing more than people who were part of my sex and love addiction.
- Spending vast amounts of time on my phone with others instead of spending it with her.
- Taking most of the time I spent with her talking about the drama in my life.
- Taking care of her house while she was away but bringing people there without her permission.
- Constantly giving her guilt trips to manipulate her.
- Rarely listening to what she was going through.
- Rarely being there for her when she asked for my help or for a favor.
- Rarely respecting her rules or boundaries.
The truth is, I disrespected my sister for the better part of several decades. And yet somehow, she always stuck around, albeit with reservations, hoping and believing I’d one day wake up and smell the roses to the craziness I was living in.
Thank God I eventually did.
And thank God that my sister gave me a million chances.
Because sadly, there are plenty of family members out there who have been so hurt and broken by one of their own succumbing to an addiction that they never have trusted them again, nor brought them back into their life.
That’s why I know I’m one of the lucky ones, well blessed by God is probably a better description.
I’m just so thankful that my sister had such a good time while she was here visiting me. I made sure to do the things I know my heart and soul always wanted to do for her like treat her to meals, desserts and such, like take her to nice scenic places and give her the chance to open up about where she is at in life, and like giving her the space to just rest, to find some peace, and to soak up a little of God’s joy.
So I thank you God for helping me to transform as much as I have, so that my sister could see the side of me that remained hidden for far too many years. Thank you for her giving me as many chances as she did over the years and for her finally having a weekend with me where she had the brother she always deserved. May you bless her life, her family, and her home with lots of love and light, and may I continue to do the same for her as well from here on out…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson