It’s been a few weeks since the whole Harvey Weinstein sexual scandal arose in the news and if by some chance you aren’t aware of who he is and what happened, he’s a Hollywood mogul who was the head of the major film producing firm named “The Weinstein Company (TWC)” that totally took advantage of his power and weight in Tinsel Town by coercing dozens of actresses, models, and various other women into having sexual encounters with him over the course of several decades.
Since the New York Times broke this scandal wide open back in the beginning of October, Harvey has been ousted from his own company, from the Academy of Motion Pictures, and is facing other major repercussions throughout his life. His name has now become disgraced in Hollywood and his wife has chosen to leave him as well. In response to all this, Harvey opted to enter treatment for sex addiction, which seems to be enraging a good number of people around the world who say that’s just an excuse.
While I can understand how people might think it’s an excuse, I’m not sure it is, as being someone who once suffered at the hands of a terrible sex and love addiction and having met countless people along the way who too have suffered at the hands of this disease, it may indeed be what Harvey has been battling with all along.
Sadly, sex and love addiction is something that really hasn’t been accepted yet both in society, as well as in the medical realm. While alcohol, drugs, gambling, cigarettes, and a number of other addictions are currently listed in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), sex and love addiction continues to be rejected from inclusion, even while many well-known doctors have provided plenty of evidence that says otherwise.
The three components to this addiction that these doctors have provided in their evidence are sexual obsession, loss of control, and negative consequences, of which each I’ve dealt with when my own disease was once active. The obsessional part was in how I felt constantly compelled to watch pornographic material or chase after people who were unavailable, pledging my undying love towards them in the process. The loss of control was how I couldn’t limit the time I spent with either, as eventually it consumed my entire life, from morning to night. And the negative consequences I amassed during the active years of this addiction were seen in with the loss of jobs, friends, money, and even my health.
In Harvey Weinstein’s case, the real question is whether an underlying addiction was driving all his sexual behaviors or was it someone who was just taking advantage of their power and position to get what they want. Many are vying for the latter, while I am leaning towards the former in that he truly might have this addiction. But with it not even being an accepted addiction in the medical realm, that’s going to be a tough case to prove.
Regardless, what saddens me the most with this whole case is how so many out there who may be suffering at the hands of this addiction, will never even know it’s an addiction in the first place with everyone claiming that sex and love addiction doesn’t exist, not for Harvey and not for anyone.
I beg to differ only in that I have watched the massive destruction this addiction has caused not only for me, but for so many others as well. Destruction that’s come because of individuals who can’t stop hiring prostitute’s due to their overwhelming obsession. Destruction that’s come to those who can’t stop going to anonymous places and hooking up with random stranger’s due to their overwhelming obsession. Destruction that’s come to those who feel powerless to watching porn for hours on end, day after day, due to their overwhelming obsession. Destruction that’s come to those who give up everything in life over an individual they feel an overwhelming obsession towards. And destruction that’s come to the many others who have done other sexual behaviors, some even predatory, that they too also felt an overwhelming obsession they couldn’t stop.
While none of this excuses Harvey’s behavior or anyone else’s who has ever engaged in this addiction, the point of me writing this is at least to educate the world that this addiction is indeed real and potentially the very thing that drove Harvey into doing what he did for years. And if indeed it truly is his dark addiction, he does still deserve to deal with the repercussions of all his terrible actions that hurt so many innocent women.
Thankfully, I’ve worked through all those repercussion to my former addiction and have been in recovery now from it for over 5 ½ years. I currently co-run a Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) meeting in Toledo, Ohio, where I do my best to not only continue recovering from a disease that almost destroyed my life, but also to help the many others who walk in the door feeling powerless over their sexual behaviors that self-will was never able to help them with.
In the end, I can’t say whether Harvey Weinstein is truly one of those who is feeling powerless over their sexual behaviors and honestly seeking help for it or if he’s just someone who was finally caught in the act and is now simply trying to find a quick escape route. Regardless of whichever one it is, he faces an uphill battle to heal from all the damage he’s caused, not just to all the women he hurt, but also himself. Recovery and healing can happen though for all involved, as God helped me to see that come to fruition through the SLAA program. What happens from here on out with Harvey Weinstein I don’t know. What I do know is that sex and love addiction is a real thing and that there is help out there for those who are suffering from its deadly grips. And hopefully one day, the medical world will recognize this disease in the DSM, instead of choosing to label it as anything but…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson