Temptation Always Seems To Strike A Recovering Addict When They Are At Their Most Vulnerable…

Temptation always seems to strike a recovering addict when they are at their most vulnerable. How “the most vulnerable” translates for the recovering addict is different for every individual. In my case, it’s never when I’m having a great day and feeling confident in my recovery program, in other words, when everything feels like it’s going my way. Because on those types of days, I never feel the urge to act out with any of my former addictions. I can’t say that’s true though when I feel like everything is crashing down around me and the world appears to be against me and doesn’t like me much. Ironically, this is precisely how I felt one day just recently and sure enough the biggest temptation I could face came knocking on my door that very same day.

On a day that began no different than any other, it quickly progressed into one where a number of people in a row contacted me through various means and proceeded to let me know how I was a problem in their life and causing them more strife than anything else. In each case, I felt like I had to change to make them feel better, which in turn made me feel unloved and unaccepted.

Thus, as my character continued to be brought into question a number of times on this day, I became more and more defensive, depressed, and sad. And just as I was beginning to think that I was terrible person living in a world where everyone hated me, I suddenly received several communication requests from the very person who I had spent the most time with when I was deep into a sex and love addiction. I hadn’t heard from them in years and now quite abruptly, in my weakest state, here I was.

For a moment, I actually considered responding and entertained the thought that they would definitely appreciate me far more than everyone else had that day, and would probably tell me how much they missed me, seeing that’s what happened every single time I used to open that door to them in the past. But thankfully, I knew better because of all the hard work I’ve done in recovery and because of my connection with my Higher Power, that being God. I also know how Darkness likes to operate, always trying to hit me up with temptation when I’m feeling overly weak. That’s why I smiled instead and ignored this former acting out partner’s requests to connect with me and not too long after, met with my therapist and contacted my sponsor, which gratefully, helped me to feel a whole lot better.

Nevertheless, my point is this. Temptation always seems to strike a recovering addict when they are at their most vulnerable, which for me has consistently been when I feel like the world is totally against me. But in your case, it could be something altogether different. So just remember that whenever and however temptation does come your way in the future, that your recovery program and your Higher Power can and will help you rise above it.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson