One Of the Many Consequences That Can Arise From Living Deep In An Addiction…

When an addiction takes over someone’s life, it’s quite normal for them to completely forget their actions and behaviors while in the throngs of the disease and even long after they find recovery as well. I was reminded of this when my sister visited me a week ago and the topic of my mother’s passing arose.

As we were reflecting on the many difficult things we went through after our mother’s tragic passing, my sister suddenly laughed and said “I still can’t believe you kept hitting on that funeral director while we were trying to discuss all the arrangements for her burial.” I then looked at her strangely and said “I have no idea what you’re talking about?” She then told me I had spent the entire time sitting in this funeral director’s office attempting to get his phone number for the sole purpose of hooking up, instead of grieving my Mom’s passing and focusing on how we wanted him to handle her remains. But even worse, my sister also reminded me that this funeral director had been a married man and how it seemed as if that hadn’t mattered to me whatsoever.

Sadly, this is probably just one of many addiction-based incidents I either vaguely remember or don’t remember at all from life. And to be totally honest, the only reason why I wasn’t able to recollect this specific acting out incident was because of how deep I was living in the disease back then. You see, when someone is that deep in an addiction, there is an illness that pervades every facet of their life that all too often causes the person to become completely unaware of any of their actions and behaviors. It’s almost as if the person’s mind gets shut off from recording any of their sick acting out experiences. Maybe that’s because it doesn’t want to take ownership and instead live in total denial? Whatever the reason why the mind often forgets to record the details of an addiction-based incident, the fact remains it’s but one of the many consequences that can arise from living deep in an addiction.

Ultimately, this is precisely why I keep on thanking God every day for being clean and sober from all of the addictions I once suffered from. I’m so grateful that I can clearly see now how insane of a life I had when yet another addiction was fully consuming my life. And I pray somehow that me continuing to share stories like this will help others who may be living deep in an addiction themselves. Maybe it will help them to wake up and realize the consequences of doing so are often heartbreaking and painful, just like it was for me in being totally unable to remember an entire afternoon from my life that was meant to be a time of grieving and instead became a time of living in total sickness…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

“Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.” (Criss Jami)

AND

“At the heart of all anger, all grudges, and all resentment, you’ll always find a fear that hopes to stay anonymous.” (Donald L. Hicks)

AND

“The wound will never heal until the grudge is completely gone and replaced with forgiveness.” (Unknown)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Daily Reflection

“Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.” (Dave Willis)

When I was molested at 12 years old by a male coach on the swim and dive team I was on, I lived with anger, resentment, and basically just a huge grudge towards the man for several decades after. What I never realized though during all those years was how much that grudge grew worse towards not just him, but many others who carried the energy of him. Anyone who reminded me of this man in any way, shape, or form essentially became him and I’d go on to hate them as well, even when they definitely didn’t deserve it.

You see, grudges really don’t hurt the person they’re being carried towards, they only hurt the person that’s carrying it. And boy, did this grudge hurt me, as it pushed away so many good people from my life, especially when I treated them as if they were my molester.

I used to think that all that anger made me strong and is what carried me through all those years I held firmly onto that grudge, but really, it didn’t make me strong at all. It merely left me in a constant state of fear of what was hidden behind it.

Thankfully, I finally faced that fear on a spiritual retreat in my early 30’s and forgave the man who robbed me of my sexual innocence, once and for all. The freedom I felt afterwards was so liberating and I’m happy to say that I haven’t seen the energy of him in any of the men I’ve grown close to ever since. Yet what I find is even more important is that I have nothing but sadness, compassion, and a God-based unconditional love for someone who I can see now was simply just spiritually sick and had fallen away from living in the Light long before.

And overall, I can clearly see now that grudges truly don’t ever make anyone strong, they only make one bitter like this one did to me for far too many years. But forgiving and letting the grudge go didn’t make me weak either, because in the end, it ultimately set me free…

Dear God, I pray that I never hold onto any grudge again in this life, not even for a single moment, because I know that it will only end up hurting me in the long run the more I hold onto it, and will do the very thing that’s the last thing I’d ever want in the process, which is to feel separate from You. So please help me have the strength to always forgive, no matter how hard it may ever seem, as I know in forgiving I’ll be set free and remain close to You.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson