Silly Joke #1
A little old lady tried to phone her local bank but was put through instead to the bank’s call centre in India.
“Is that the Adams Street branch?” she asked.
“No, madam,” replied the voice at the other end. “It is now company policy to deal with all telephone calls centrally.”
“Well, I really need to speak to the branch,” said the old lady.
“Madam, if you just let me know your query, I’m sure I can help you.”
“I don’t think you can, young man. I need to speak to the branch.”
The call centre operator was adamant. “There’s nothing that the branch can help you with that can’t be dealt with by me.”
“Very well then,” sighed the old lady. “Can you see if I left my gloves on the counter, as I believe I left them behind this morning when I was there?”
Silly Joke #2
A kindergarten had received a number of complaints from parents regarding the state of a hawthorn hedge that surrounded the school playground. It was so long and thorny in places that several people – including children – had received scratches. The town council had rejected all calls to trim the hedge, so the school decided to undertake the task themselves and proposed cutting back the hedge every three months to ensure that it stayed in shape and posed no danger.
To this end, the school formed a special committee of parent volunteers, each of whom took responsibility for a particular aspect of the operation. The key area was finance, and since one of the parents was an investment banker, the committee thought he would be the ideal person to set up an account from which money could be drawn to cover the costs associated with maintaining the hedge.
But when he was approached, the investment banker firmly declined, saying: “There’s no way I’m getting involved in any more hedge funds.”
Silly Joke #3
Don’t be silly – opportunity doesn’t knock twice!
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson