Silly Joke #1
An Irishman moves to the USA and finally attends his first baseball game.
The first batter approached the batters’ box, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming, “Run, Run!”
The next batter hit a single and the Irishman listened as the crowd again cheered “Run, Run!”
The Irishman enjoyed the game and began screaming with the fans.
When the next batter came up and four balls went by, the umpire called “Walk!” and the batter started his slow trot to first base.
The Irishman stood up and screamed, “R-R-Run ye bastard, Run!”
The people around him began laughing.
Embarrassed, the Irishman sat back down. A friendly fan noted the man’s embarrassment, leaned over and explained, “He can’t run, he’s got four balls…”
The Irishman then stood up and screamed, “Walk with pride, lad, WALK WITH PRIDE!”
Silly Joke #2
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
“Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.”
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, “Sure. I have this.” The frog then produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.” She then holds up the tiny pink elephant. “I mean, what in the world is this?”
The bank manager looks back at her and says…”It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”
Silly Joke #3
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
“Oh, we’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship,” the wife explained. “He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts. He communicates really well, and I just act as if I’m listening.”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson