Lately, I really have been having this “stuck-like” feeling in life, almost as if I’ve not been moving forward, like my life has been on pause for far too long, which in all honesty has felt like an eternity.
There have been many days in which my ego has pushed for me to take a step backwards because of this and engage in unhealthy behaviors that I once did with regularity just to numb myself from the doldrums of life. There have also been plenty of days in which my ego has wanted me to take a random step in what it feels is in a forward direction, by trying something random, just to see if somehow that might remove this “stuck-like” feeling.
Yet, in the midst of all this spiritual confusion, there has been this part of me that continues to tell me to remain still and wait because my past actions have shown that any step backwards only leads to a greater feeling of being stuck and any step forward that doesn’t come from my Higher Guidance only leads to more of the same as well.
So, I’ve been waiting, waiting for God’s guidance and direction to come, but it hasn’t thus far, which has left me feeling like I’m in this very “stuck-like” place, one that has been extremely painful and primarily devoid of any real peace and joy in life.
While I have done my best to get out and help another, as that seems to help a little, and while I have done my best too to remain busy doing constructive things like upkeep around the house and hobbies, neither have removed that “stuck-like” feeling, which has left me thinking.
Maybe, this is precisely where the Universe wants me? Maybe, I’m meant to be still and stop trying to guide my own path, stop trying to push myself in some direction I think I should be going in, and stop trying to control whatever destiny I think I’m supposed to have, as it’s quite obvious from my past, how far any of those actions ever got me, which was pretty much nowhere.
In light of that, maybe I’m just meant to sit with this “stuck-like” feeling because I’m not stuck at all. Maybe I’m really moving forward and it’s only my ego that keeps saying I’m not. And maybe, just maybe, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, and the sooner I accept that, the sooner I’ll see just how very much I’m not stuck at all…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson