Silly Joke #1
Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon intimate session with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began to shout out his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. “There’s a car being towed from the parking lot,” he yelled. “An ambulance just drove by.” Then a few moments passed.”Looks like the Andersons have company,” he continued. “Matt’s riding a new bike, and the Coopers are having sex.” Bill and Marla both gasped at the same time and immediately shot up in bed. “How do you know that?” the startled father hollered back. “Because their kid is standing out on the balcony too Dad!!!”
Silly Joke #2
Q: Why did Jeff decide to change his Facebook name to ‘No one’?
A: So, when he saw a stupid post from anyone from then on out, he could always click the like button and it will say ‘No one likes this’.
Silly Joke #3
A driver was racing down the road at a very high rate when suddenly he gets pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver’s door.
“Is there a problem Officer?”
The policeman said, “Sir, you were speeding. License and registration please.”
The driver responded, “I’d give my license to you but I don’t have one anymore.”
“You don’t have one?”
The man responded, “I lost it because of getting caught four times for drunk driving.”
The policeman is stunned. “I see. Well just hand me your vehicle registration then please.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t do that either.”
The policeman said, “Why not?”
“I stole this car.”
The officer reacted, “Stole it???”
The man said, “Yes, and I killed the owner too.”
At that, the officer exclaimed in horror. “You did what?!!!”
“He’s in the trunk if you want to see.”
The officer, knowing the situation now required back up, told him to remain seated in his car and slowly backed away to his patrol car to call for it. Within minutes, five other patrol cars showed up and surrounded the car. A senior officer slowly approached the vehicle, clasping his half-drawn gun, and yelled, “Sir, step out of your vehicle now and place your hands on the car!”
The man immediately got out of his vehicle, placed his hands on the car, and said, “Is there a problem officer?”
“One of my officers told me that you stole this car and murdered its owner.”
“Murdered the owner?”
The officer sternly responded, “Yes and I’m going to need you to open the trunk of this car right now!”
The man swiftly walked to the back of the car and opened the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty area.
The officer said, “Is this your car???”
The man responded, “Yes” and after getting permission, reached into his vehicle and quickly handed over the registration papers.
The officer, understandably, was quite stunned. “I was also told you don’t have a driving license???”
The man slowly dug into his pocket, pulled his wallet out, and handed it to the senior officer. When the senior officer opened it and examined its contents, he found a valid driver’s license for the man. He became very puzzled by that point. “Thank you, sir, I don’t understand though, as I was informed you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and murdered its owner.”
The man replied, “I have no idea why the officer would say any of that? Honestly, I’m just as shocked as you are right now. He probably told you I was speeding too?! May I please go now?”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson