Month: March 2019

Thought For The Day

Quote # 1

“Friends with benefits – good enough to hang with, good enough to lay with, but never good enough to be with.” (Unknown)

Quote #2

“Friends with benefits = you’re good enough to screw, but not good enough to invest any real feelings in.” (Maya)

Quote #3

“I don’t believe in open relationships. If you want to be with someone else, you shouldn’t be in a relationship in the first place.” (Pixie Lott)

Quote #4

“Friends with benefits? More than friends? Don’t sample the goodies unless you’re willing to risk addiction and withdrawal.” (Ann Landers)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

God, May I Please Just Have The “F”, And Not The “WB”?

I very recently was asked by more than one person if I’d be open to a friendship with benefits (FWB) and honestly, I’m quite sick and tired of being asked this, as all I really want is the “F”, and not the “WB”.

FWB’s, open-relationships, and even poly relationships, are types of sexual connections that seem to becoming more and more commonplace these days in various circles of friendships. I know of a number of individuals who are either in them now, have been in them before, or currently looking for them. While it’s not my place to judge any of them, I know they’re not for me anymore.

FWB’s, where one has casual friends who also have sex with them from time to time, open-relationships, where partners regularly have sex with others on the side but often with rules, and poly relationships, where three or more are in a sexual relationship with each other monogamously, are all types of sexual connections I have sampled in my past, where each consistently left me feeling spiritually unfulfilled and totally empty in the long run.

Having been monogamous with my partner for the past seven years doesn’t mean that I haven’t been tempted from time to time to fall back into one of these types of relationships though, because I have. Yet, I haven’t given in to any of that temptation because having sex is honestly the least important thing in my life nowadays.

There was a time in my life though where I sought one sexual partner after another, and participated in these types of sexual connections with regularity, but like so many other addictions I succumbed to, once all the ooo’s and ahh’s were over each instance, I constantly was left feeling spiritually unclean.

Dirty was more like it, where even after taking a shower once the sexual act was over, I still felt unclean. Maybe that’s because in an FWB, I really was only having a friendship with someone’s orifice and vice versa? Maybe that’s because in an open-relationship, I never reached deep intimacy and vulnerability because I was always focused on where and when my next hookup was going to be? And maybe that’s because in a poly relationship, I was always feeling like a third wheel or trying to manipulate one of the others to be with me alone?

Regardless of the reason, I so desperately have wanted friends in my life in years past that I’d allow myself to engage in these types of connections. These days though I just want some really close friends in my life who love me for me and help to enhance my spirituality and connection to God. Yet on no level does that translate anymore into me wanting an FWB, an open-relationship, or a poly relationship.

I simply want some good friends outside of my current relationship, who see the beauty within me, and not because they only find me beautiful on the outside. I simply want some good friends who will be there for me when I’m sad and hurting, and not because they hope I’ll be horny with them from time to time. I simply want some good friends who open their heart to me and find it ok to bare their soul, rather than just looking to bare something else with me.

The bottom line is that sex is not something I want with friends anymore in life. Engaging in that was always an itch I could never fully scratch and I’m not about to go down that path again, only to fall away from God even further.

I’m not exactly sure why I keep being presented with these types of sexual connections. Maybe it’s a test to my sobriety and recovery? Maybe it’s the Universe allowing me to be tempted to see if I stay on the straight and narrow? Or maybe there’s some energy I’m carrying within from my past that’s still drawn to these types of sexual connections?

Whatever the reason, for as long as I keep seeking my Spirit to be in charge of my life and for as long as I keep seeking to be filled by the breath of God, I know the last thing I want or need is any type of FWB, open-relationship, poly relationship, or any friend in general who’s looking at me as a sexual possibility.

So, God, may I please just have the “F”, and not the “FWB”? As I’m seeking more spiritual connection, rather than sexual connection in my life these days, and I know only You can guide me successfully to that…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

A pastor’s wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher’s family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher’s expanding salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman’s additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost. After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, ‘Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us. Silence fell on the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, ‘Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers.’ The entire congregation said, ‘Amen!’

Silly Joke #2

A fellow goes to a tool store to buy a chainsaw. The dealer sells him the top-of-the-line model, saying that it would cut through 100 trees in one day. The fellow takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees. After working for 3 hours he only cut 2 trees. “How can I cut for hours and only cut two trees?” he asks himself. The next morning, he gets up at 4 am and cuts until bedtime, but still only manages to cut five trees. The very next day the fellow brings the chainsaw back to the store and says the saw doesn’t work properly. “Hmm, it looks okay,” says the dealer, and starts the chainsaw. The fellow jumps back, startled, and cries, “What’s that noise?!”

Silly Joke #3

A new monk arrived at the monastery. He was assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He noticed, however, that they were copying copies, not the original books. The new monk went to the head monk to ask him about this. He pointed out that if there were an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk said, “We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.” In light of that, the head monk decided it was best to go down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody had seen him, so one of the monks went downstairs to look for him. He heard a loud sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and found the old monk leaning over one of the original books, crying. He asked what was wrong. “The word was ‘celebrate…CELEBRATE!’,” cried the head monk.

Bonus Silly Joke

A very selfish husband was at home watching a football game when his wife suddenly interrupted him. “Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for weeks now.”He looks at her and says angrily, “Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don’t think so!” “Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won’t close right.” To which he replied, “Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don’t think so!” “Fine,” she says, “Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They’re about to break.” To which he replied, “Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don’t think so! I’ve had enough of this. I’m going to the bar to watch my game in peace!” He then heads to the local bar and drinks for a couple hours, but then starts to feel really guilty about how he treated his wife, so he decides to go home and help her out. As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working too. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed as well. “Honey, how’d all those things you wanted me to do get fixed?” She said, “Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried and cried until a nice young man walked by and asked me what was wrong. I told him that you refused to help me and he offered to do all the repairs, and that all I had to do was either screw him or bake him a cake.” He said, “Are you serious! So, what kind of cake did you bake him?” She replied, “Bake a cake? Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?!”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson