Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before. “What seems to be the problem, madam?” says the store clerk at the customer service desk as she hands it to him. “I’m returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He’s still not seeing things my way!”

Silly Joke #2

A woman and a baby were in a doctor’s examining room, waiting for the baby’s new Doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. The Doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and seeming a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. “Breast-fed,” she replied. “Strip down to your waist,” he said. She did. He then pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination. Motioning her to get dressed, he said, “No wonder this baby is underweight, you don’t have any milk.” “I know,” she said, “I’m his Grandma, but I’m sure glad my daughter had me bring the baby today!”

Silly Joke #3

A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:”Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty. You’re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?” “We’re taking Delta,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!” “Delta?” exclaimed the hairdresser. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?” “We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome’s Tiber River called Teste.” “Don’t go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly, and they’re overpriced. So, whatcha’ doing when you get there?” “We’re going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.” “That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. “You and a million other people are trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.” A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome. “It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of Delta’s brand-new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were totally overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their presidential suite at no extra charge!” “Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.” “Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand, I knelt down, and he spoke a few words to me.” “Oh, really! What did he say?” “He said: ‘Where did you get the shitty hairdo?'”

Bonus Silly Joke

The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee. “I see you have put ‘ASAP’ down for the date you are available to start, meaning as soon as possible, of course. However, I see you’ve put ‘AMAP’ down for required salary. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen that before, what does it mean?” The applicant replied, “As much as possible!”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question To Ponder For The Day

Today’s question is…

What type of things have you volunteered your time in over the years, that you found to be greatly rewarding and enriching to your life?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step  The Twelfth Step

A Great Reminder Of The Importance Of Living Out The Twelfth Step…

During my weekly prison commitment where I am one of two people who bring in an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting every Monday night to those incarcerated, I was reminded by one of prisoners there why I continue to do live out the purpose of the Twelfth Step. This also ties back to the reason why I named my blog The Twelfth Step as well. As stated, the 12th Step says, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”

When Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith created the 12 Steps, the whole purpose was to recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body, by first going through the steps, and once completed, to start giving back to those still suffering from alcoholism. It was never meant to be a program that you just needed to make it through and simply graduate from. And no matter what 12 Step program you may ever find yourself in, the goal is the same, to recover from the disease of addiction and to then begin helping others.

Addiction in of itself is a very selfish and self-centered disease, where the only thing that matters to the addict is themselves and the substance of the addiction itself. When I first completed the 12 Steps back in 2008, I initially started doing exactly what the Twelfth Step says to do, to give back. Unfortunately, I allowed my ego to slowly begin to place other things as more important, and as I did, I began helping others less and less, until I fell straight back into addiction and its subsequent toxic behaviors. When I finally woke up again and realized the err of my ways, I vowed to spend the rest of my life living out the Twelfth Step, hence the reason why I named my blog what I did when I started it. That being said, going to my weekly prison commitment is one part of how I am living out the intention of this step.

There are times though that I grow weary of my Twelfth Step work, as sometimes it becomes a thankless job and totally frustrates me, especially when I see people I’m attempting to help do their best to tear me or my program down. But, thankfully, from time to time, someone or something comes along, that I choose to believe comes from the Grace of God, that reminds me why I fell in love doing Twelfth Step work in the beginning, and why I keep doing my best to live it one day at a time.

That very thing happened at this prison commitment last week when one of the guys there said during a very emotional moment, that if he had an hour to do anything he wanted in his life, he couldn’t imagine coming into a jail and spreading the AA message of experience, strength, and hope for free, yet was completely honored and grateful that we continue to do it week after week. He truly was appreciative of our presence there and made sure to let us know it was really helping him. I could really feel the genuineness from this man, and in that very moment, I received a huge recharge to my program, and left that evening with a great reminder of why I keep on living out the Twelfth Step.

So, if you happen to be someone who’s clean and sober from an addiction and gone through the 12 Steps at least once, yet are feeling a sense of lethargy in your program, I encourage you to consider looking to give back somewhere new in your life, as it will help to remove that feeling. Consider volunteering your time through sponsorship of another, or bringing a 12 Step meeting to someone in need, or doing anything where you are trying to carry the message of experience, strength, and hope you learned when you went through the steps, as that truly is the intention of the program and the Twelfth Step itself…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson