Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

A man came home one day and said to his wife: “Honey, what would you do if I said I’d won the lottery?”She sneered: “I’d take half and then leave you.” “Are you serious?!,” he replied. “Absolutely, in a heartbeat!” “Well I just hit 3 numbers and won $10. Here’s $5, pack your bags and get out!”

Silly Joke #2

Boss to the potential new employee: “We here are very keen on cleanliness! Did you happen to wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?”
Interviewee: “Yes, sir!”
Boss: “We here are also keen on truthfulness! There is no mat. I think we’re done here, thanks for coming.”

Silly Joke #3

Aaron: “My neighbor had the nerve to ring my doorbell at 3 am…3 AM! Can you believe it!?”
John: “Really, that’s so disrespectful! Did you answer it to figure out what they wanted?”
Aaron: “Heck no! I was in one of my best jam sessions on my drums at the time!”

Bonus Silly Joke

Lee wasn’t the brightest guy in the world, and his co-workers were continually ribbing him on the job. One in particular, Rick, would greet him each morning and precipitate this exchange:
“Say Lee, you seen Ben?”
“Ben who?”
“Ben’ down and kiss my a$$!”
Tired of falling for the same joke day after day, Lee confided in his friend Susie who said, “Listen, next time you see Rick, ask him if he’s seen Eileen. Rick will ask, ‘Eileen who?’, and you say, ‘I lean over and you kiss MY a$$.'”
Memorizing his lines, Lee went to work early to wait for Rick. As soon as he arrived, Lee ran over to him.
“Hey Rick,” he said, “have you seen Eileen?”
“No,” Rick answered, “she ran off with Ben.”
Lee frowned, “Ben who?”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson