Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

I’ve noticed the strangest thing about men who hang out in bars a lot. It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there: They have no wife to go home to… or they do.

Silly Joke #2

I ordered a Chinese takeout from a local place, just been to pick it up and as I was driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!!! I thought what on Earth is that. Has something got in the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out at me. I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out from behind the prawn crackers. I thought it’s got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down … And there it was … A Peking Duck!

Silly Joke #3

An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by.Then he spoke: “Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses. Mary, you take the offices over at the L.A. Center. Debra, the apartments over at the L.A. Plaza are yours. And you my dear wife, you take the residential buildings near downtown.” The nurse was really impressed. She said, “Your husband must have been quite a man, amassing so much property to leave to all of you.” And the wife responded, “What property? … the schmuck had nothing more than a paper route!!!”

Bonus Silly Joke (For Adults Only!)

Two quite elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing but drinking some tea.One old lady turns to the other and asks, “Do you still get horny at our age?” The other replies, “Oh sure I do.” The first old lady asks, “What do you do about It?” The second old lady replies, “I suck a lifesaver.” After a few moments, the first old lady asks, “Who drives you to the beach?”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson