Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the breweries decide to go to the pub for a drink. The Coors President said “Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please.” The bartender gave him the drink. Then the Budweiser President orders, “The King Of Beers — Budweiser.” The bartender proceeds with the order. The Amstel President walks in and orders “The Finest Beer ever.” The bartender gives him an Amstel. Then the Guinness President says, “I’ll have a Coke please.” The bartender is taken aback by this but gives the Coke to him anyway. All the Presidents looked over at him and said, “Why have you ordered a Coke?” He replied, “Well if you all aren’t drinking beer, then neither shall I!”

Silly Joke #2

Larry’s barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, “We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money.” The agent replied, “Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn’t work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth.” There was a long pause before Susan replied, “Then I think I need to cancel the policy I have on my husband.”

Silly Joke #3

Little Amy: Can people really predict the future with cards?
Little Joan: My mother can.
Little Amy: Really?
Little Joan: Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home.

Bonus Silly Joke

The cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this he whispered to the cowboy, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The cowboy groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became more impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there, I’m going to have to call the manager. The cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle. In a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, what’s your name?” “Sam,” the cowboy moaned.  “Where ya from, Sam?”   With pain in his voice Sam replied…. “The balcony.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson