Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37. Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars!”

Silly Joke #2

Bill meets Doug shopping at the mall and sees he has a small gift wrapped box.”It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow.” Doug said. “Last week I asked her what she wanted for her birthday.””And???” Bill asked.”Well, she said ‘Oh, I don’t know just give me something with diamonds in it’.””So what did you get her?” asked Bill. “I bought her a deck of cards!!”

Silly Joke #3

The husband says to his wife, “You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?”  She says, “When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.”He smirks and replies, “You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?”
She calmly replies, “Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, ‘What other problem can there be greater than this one?'”

Bonus Silly Joke

Two men were talking. “So, how’s your sex life?”
“Oh, nothing special. I’m having Social Security sex.”
“Social Security sex?”
“Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson