Silly Joke #1
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect! Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again!” To which the gentleman said, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”
Silly Joke #2
A man went to his lawyer and said “I would like to make a will but I don’t know exactly how to go about it.” The lawyer says “No problem, leave it all to me.” The man looks somewhat upset and says, “Well I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I’d like to leave a little to my children too!!!”
Silly Joke #3
An elderly couple is vacationing in the West. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into their room and says to his wife, “Notice anything different, Bessie?” Bessie looks him over. “Nope.” Sam says excitedly, “Come on, Bessie, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?” Bessie looks again. “Nope.” Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again he asks, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different?” Bessie looks up and down and says, “Sam, what’s different? It was hanging down yesterday, it’s hanging down today and it will be hanging down tomorrow!” Furious, Sam yells, “And do you know why its hanging down, Bessie? It’s hanging down because it’s looking at my new boots!” Bessie replies, “Should’a bought a hat, Sam!”
Bonus Silly Joke
Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time whilst stuck behind bars. On the bus, one turned to another and said, “So, what did you bring?” The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the “Grandma Moses of Jail.” Then he asked the first, “What did you bring?” The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, “I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire and gin, and any number of games.” The third convict was sitting quietly aside grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, “Why are you so smug? What did you bring?” The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. “I brought these.” The other two were puzzled and asked, “What can you do with those?” He grinned and pointed to the box and said, “Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating…”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
