“Progress is impossible without change. Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” (George Bernard Shaw)
Ok. I admit it. I was totally stuck in the 80’s, or maybe the 90’s at best, with my clothing at least. Baggy jeans, baggy shirts, it was pretty much baggy everything I ever wore on my body, except for my socks and underwear of course. Being as tall as I am and as skinny as I am, I always felt that wearing baggy clothes would cover some of that up. On some level, I was rather afraid to change that. Many often suggested I should, but I was too afraid I’d look like that beanpole again I was once called constantly throughout my childhood. Even after I did an AA commitment in a jail recently, where an inmate laughed and said I was still rocking the 80’s look, I refused to change my fashion, mostly out of fear. But, after a picture was taken of me wearing some of my dress clothes, seeing how baggy it all looked on me, almost as if I had lost a bunch of weight and didn’t have any clothes that fit, I started to think that maybe indeed it might be time to change this part of me. It took two pairs of jeans ripping a few days apart, and only one pair left in a shabby state to ultimately propel me in that direction.
So, I went to Kohl’s and quickly discovered the Levis number I had worn for so long had been discontinued, probably because the style was no longer in fashion! Regardless, I proceeded to try on hundreds, yes, I do mean hundreds, of pairs of jeans from Levis, to Lee’s, to a number of other brands, until I finally came down to two styles from a company called Urban Pipeline. Ironically, one was the very same baggy look I’d been wearing for decades, while the other, well let’s just say I finally had a butt when I wore them! As I stared in the mirror switching from one to the other, over and over again, fear of change consumed me. And then quite abruptly, I looked in the mirror and said it was time to change a part of me I’d been resistant to for the majority of my life. So much had already changed within me in the past decade with all the spiritual work I’ve been doing to heal myself. Maybe it was time to honor that by changing what I wore? And so, I did. I bought the new form-fitting style, all seven colors of it, in good old OCD fashion! LOL! And you know what? I’ve actually felt a whole lot better ever since! I’ve felt more confident and have come to really accept this new look on me and so has everyone else it seems, as a number of friends have paid me compliments. I’m now starting to change out my other clothes because of it and am committed to bringing myself completely out of the 80’s and 90’s and fully into the 2020’s!
In the end, people may think my sudden fashion change is due to some mid-life crisis. But, I say that maybe I finally found the willingness to change a part of me that was once Fort Knox resistant to it, and thank God for that! Because the result of such a minor change has led to a huge increase in the amount of love and acceptance I now have for myself!
I wish to always be open and willing to change. Change that will continue to help me grow in my self-confidence and change that will help me to grow closer to the Source that lives within me and around me.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson