Silly Joke #1
A grandmother was surprised by her seven-year-old helper early one morning. He had made her coffee! She drank what was probably the worst cup of coffee in her entire life. And when she got to the bottom, to her utter amazement, there were three little green, army men in her cup. Puzzled, she asked, “Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?” Her grandson answered, “Grandma, don’t you know what it says on TV???, ‘It says the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'”
Silly Joke #2
Boss – Do you think you can come in this Saturday? I know how much you enjoy your weekends, but I really need you here to help us make this deadline.
Me – Yeah, no problem. I’ll probably be late though as public transportation on weekends is really slow.
Boss – Ok, well, when do you think you will get here then?
Me – Monday.
Silly Joke #3
Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV…The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Jack and said, ‘Do you think he’ll jump?’ Jack says, ‘You know what, I bet he will.’ The blonde replied, ‘Well, I bet he won’t.’ Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, ‘You’re on!’ Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, ‘Fair’s fair… Here’s your money.’ Jack replied, ‘I can’t take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o’clock news and knew he would jump. ‘The blonde replies, ‘I did too; but I didn’t think he’d do it again!!!’
Bonus Silly Joke
A Sunday School teacher of kindergarteners was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Easter season emphasis on His death. He really wanted to make sure they understood a little more about the life of Jesus. So he asked his class, “Where is Jesus today?” Steven raised his hand and said, “He’s in heaven.” Mary was called on and answered, “He’s also in my heart.” Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, “I know! I know! He’s also in my bathroom!!!” The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, “Well…every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells ‘Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!!!”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson