Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called the head waiter to his table. “I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it’s runny, and the other so overcooked, it’s tough and hard to eat. Also, give me some grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it’s impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, luke-warm.” “That’s a very complicated order, Sir,” said the bewildered waiter. “It might be quite difficult to prepare.” The guest replied, “Oh? But that’s what I got yesterday!!”

Silly Joke #2

A Father is asked by his friend, “Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?” “Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector,” he replies. To this his friend responds “Strange ambition to have for a career?” The father then sighed and said, “Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!”

Silly Joke #3

A man was having marital problems. So he went to his shrink. The shrink says, “When you get home, throw down your briefcase, run to her, embrace her, take off her clothes, and yours, and make mad passionate love to her.” In two weeks he was back in the shrink’s office. The shrink asked “How did it go?” He said, “She didn’t have anything to say, but her bridge club sure got a kick out of it!”

Bonus Silly Joke


Day 1: I have stocked up on enough non-perishable food and supplies to last me for months, maybe even years, so that I can remain in isolation for as long as it takes to see out this pandemic.

Day 1+45 minutes: I had to go to the supermarket because I had a craving for some M&M’s.

Day 4: Got an email from my gym trainer with a more thorough plan for dealing with the Coronavirus that’s better than any our President keeps laying out!

Day 7: There’s no sports on the TV anymore to watch, but I found this nice young lady sitting on my couch in front of it. Apparently she’s my wife.

Day 10: Losing my mind now without having any sports to watch so I started pretending to do the sport of curling with our Roomba and our broom.

Day 13: My wife is coughing now. I think we’ll be alright though because we have over 300 rolls of toilet paper.

Day 15: Could it actually be possible that I’m living in an episode of Netflix’s Black Mirror?

Day 16: The Jehovah’s freaking Witnesses still came to my door today, can you believe it?! I feel guilty though because I purposely had my wife open the door during one of her coughing spells.

Day 19: Thankfully my wife’s ok. She’s no longer coughing anymore. But I am now. Damn those Jehovah’s Witnesses! Somehow they cursed me!

Day 23: I feleeng soooo mach betta. I thik I dscvreerd the cur. Jast swalooww a fewww pammps of Puracell seeeems to haaave dun the trik!

Day 25: The quarantine is finally over! What am I going to do with all this damn toilet paper? Shit!

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“People often think that saying ‘I’m sorry’ will take all the pain away, will fix things somehow and make it all better. But when their behaviors remain the same, their apologies tend to hold no value whatsoever and are nothing more than meaningless words flowing through the air.” (Andrew Arthur Dawson)

Quote #2

“Amends making is about giving the person you hurt the chance to finally begin to heal from all the pain you caused them and should never be about making yourself feel better.” (Andrew Arthur Dawson)

Quote #3

“If you find yourself constantly saying I’m sorry and having to consistently make amends, maybe it’s time to start living a little differently, to begin working on changing some of your behaviors, and becoming a healthier person in the process.” (Andrew Arthur Dawson)

Bonus Quote

“Making amends may never bring some of the things you lost back into your life, but they may just very well bring forth the person within you that you were always meant to become.” (Andrew Arthur Dawson)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

When The People You Hurt Don’t Come Back, Even After An Amends…

Making a thorough amends using the 12 Step recovery methodologies doesn’t always mean that once it’s complete you’ll get everything back you lost during your addiction-laden years. Sometimes the only thing that happens is that you did your best to clear your side of the street and clean up the wreckage from your past.

I’ve worked with many people in the steps over the years and quite often one of the first things they say when beginning the sponsorship process with them is how they want their wife back, or their kids back, or their job back, or their friend back, or someone else back.

The point of the steps is not necessarily to get any of those things back. It’s to become a better person, with a better set of life values, one who has been freed of their obsession to engage in their former addiction. Trying to get something that was taken away or lost during all the years of addiction should never be the goal of anyone’s recovery. Because the problem that happens when a person bases their entire recovery with that one goal in mind is that if it doesn’t end up happening, their recovery crumbles and they tend to return then to their addiction solely out of despair. That’s not to say though that those things that are lost or taken away during addiction years don’t ever return, because sometimes they do through a lot of hard work. It’s just not a guarantee when doing the 12-step work, as sometimes the pain caused upon another is so great and so deep that those hurt don’t wish to reconnect whatsoever, even if the person in recovery has completely turned a new leaf and is nothing like their former addicted self.

The harsh reality is that sometimes a wife never returns to her recovering husband and sometimes a husband never returns to her recovering wife. Sometimes a son or daughter never reconnects with their recovering parent and sometimes a parent never reconnects with their recovering son or daughter. Sometimes a sister never fully reestablishes connection to their recovering brother and sometimes a brother never fully reestablishes connection to their recovering sister. And sometimes best friends and former employers and many others as well, never reconnect their ties to a recovering addict they once were close to.

I recently experienced this with someone who once was in love with me, a guy by the name of Tom Wells. Some 25 years ago now, he and I were inseparable and hung out pretty much all the time. I had just come into a new life of sobriety and had also just come out of the closet. I was a total mess, selfish still at the core, and hadn’t worked a lick of recovery at that point. Tom was always there for me back then, but I hardly was for him. I broke his heart and turned down all his affections and advances, even though deep down I felt the same as he, all because I was so afraid of true love and intimacy. Although he accepted my amends many years later, after I had worked on myself and my recovery, he made sure I knew that he wasn’t open to reestablishing our connection and that the door needed to remain closed because it was just too painful for him.

Sadly, the same happened with a guy by the name of Dexter Ramey. While I felt the same for him during our time together, the fear I had of true love and intimacy always kept me in addiction behaviors instead of drawing closer to him. My rejection of him hurt him immensely and even though I did my best to rectify that over the years, he too wishes to not be in contact with me at the present.

This is the price of addiction, that sometimes even with a healthy recovery and full remission, the things we loved the most that we lost somewhere along the way, never do return.

Currently, I’m facing something similar with my sister Laura. She was on the receiving end of multiple addictions that controlled me for several decades and although she has witnessed a total transformation in me and accepted the living amends I’ve made with her over the years, even commenting on how much I’ve changed for the better, there is still great pain within her that seems to come up whenever I make a mistake. I’m not sure if her wounds from me will ever fully heal. I’m not sure if she’ll ever be able to fully let go of all my past toxic behaviors that affected her so deeply. All I know is that when I screw up from time to time, as I’m not perfect, she often reminds me of my addictive past and all the pain I caused her.

Nonetheless, sometimes the pain truly has gone too deep in those we hurt during our active addictions. Sometimes they don’t return to our lives at all or sometimes they return partially but never fully. Amends making isn’t about getting them back though. It’s about becoming a better human being and not causing those you loved any more pain by doing your initial amends, then living it, and leaving the rest with God.

If whatever you lost or was taken away from your life due to addiction, does eventually come back after your recovery work and amends, be grateful, thank God, and keep working on your recovery. But if it doesn’t, keep working on recovery anyway and know you’re doing your best to make this world a better place for them, for yourself, and for everyone else as well…as that is the true key to a recovering life from addiction.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson