Month: June 2020

How To Not Add To The Instability Of These Unsettled Times…

It’s quite easy to see how we’re not living in the most stable of times these days. COVID-19 has drastically changed life for all of us in so many ways. The constant reports of racism, police brutality, demonstrations, and riots have done the same to all of us lately as well. Volatile financial markets, business closures, and overall economic instability also continues to plague our everyday existence now. And in the very near future, the battle for our next President, along with those countless smear tactics, and smoke and mirrors techniques will probably only further add to all this instability felt amongst us all. But, there is one thing that we can be assured of that doesn’t have to add to even more of that feeling and that’s choosing to not numb ourselves with some type of addiction from what’s going on in the world around us.

Let me clarify this with even greater simplicity. Choosing to numb ourselves from all this chaos in our world right now by heavily engaging in drinking, drugging, smoking, gambling, overeating, promiscuity, pornography, infidelity, going from one relationship to the next, overspending, etc., is only going to add to any feeling of instability we already have.

Addiction to something, no matter what it is, doesn’t do anything more than create a terrible instability in one’s life in the long run. Sure, it may provide some much-needed ease and comfort at the onset from whatever one’s worldly stressor may be. It initially takes that “edge off” so to speak. But, that’s how addiction always begins. A pattern of craving begins as soon as that “edge is taken off”, because when that effect wears off, as it eventually will, the addict then seeks the substance of their addiction again to recreate the same effect. Soon, they’re off and running in the pursuit of that addiction each time their worldly stressor comes clamoring upon them.

After 25 years of sobriety from alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes, and 8 years from toxic sex and love behaviors, I’ve learned a little to know that addiction always starts from a desire to numb oneself from someone or something. I’ve already seen this happening a lot more lately in our current unsettled times at my place of volunteer work. Many clients have been choosing to engage in one addiction after another or relapsing back into former addictions they had previously found recovery from, solely because they’ve been trying to numb themselves from a world they don’t understand anymore nor have any perceived control over.

Yes, there is a lot in our world right now that seems to be in control of us, but that doesn’t mean we have to become even more out of control by engaging in some addiction. Because by engaging in some addiction, although it may provide an illusion of some form of control, it’s really only making our world become even more out of control the more we engage in it.

The bottom line here is not to let the illusion of someone or something out there become our solution to dealing with all this craziness in our world right now. Numbing ourselves from any of it with some type of addiction is only going to add to the instability we feel.

So, I encourage you to remain sober by steering clear of choosing anything addictive to cope with these unsettled times, because you’ll find you have a much easier time navigating through these choppy waters if you do…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Quote #1

“You are part of a puzzle in someone else’s life. You may never know where you fit. But, someone’s life may never be complete without you in it.” (Bonnie Arbor)

Quote #2

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” (Maya Angelou)

Quote #3

“When you help someone, you also help yourself. Instead of worrying about how much you get in return, you are better off helping as many people as you can.” (Tapan Ghosh)

Bonus Quote

“To the world you may be one person, but to one person you are the world.” (Bill Wilson)

Peace, love, light, and joy
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Grateful Heart Monday

Thank you for joining in on another Grateful Heart Monday, a day always set aside for reflection on a piece of gratitude from my life, which for today is for “A”, a guy I met at the place I volunteer at, who truly experienced a spiritual breakthrough and offered me a priceless gift as well just over a week ago.

Every week, I volunteer at Rescue Crisis, a place where people come who are struggling with addiction, and/or mental and emotional imbalances. On Wednesdays, I run a 12 Step meeting there, mostly for those looking for help from alcohol and drug issues. Recently, I had the pleasure of meeting “A” there, a man who at the start of the meeting was quite agitated and extremely vexed.

Ironically, I’ve really come to appreciate whenever I get clients like this, as I find them the most rewarding to work with, because the spiritual breakthrough tends to be pretty amazing to witness when I can find a way to connect to their heart. That being said, the first half of the meeting was spent with “A” being overly defensive and convinced that 12 Step recovery wasn’t for him, even though he admitted nothing else has worked for him over the years to remain clean and sober for any great length of time.

With about 25 minutes or so left in the meeting, and after several times of “A” angrily leaving the room, I questioned whether maybe I wasn’t going to get through to him, so I muttered silently to God for guidance to help “A”. Suddenly, “A” burst out and said, “You have no idea the pain I’ve had to go through in this life!” It’s then I told him that maybe I didn’t, but what I did know was all the pain I had gone through myself. He scoffed, as if saying nothing I had endured could match his. It’s then I felt God nudge me, as God usually seems to do in situations like this, to talk about all the painful things I’ve been through.

So, I talked about my parents’ tragic deaths and how it all began back in my early childhood with their alcoholism. I spoke about how I felt so alone because of it and constantly was bullied in school with no real friends around the same time too. Then, I mentioned how no one really paid any attention to me back then until I finally made a friend with one of the coaches on the swim and dive team I was a member of around the age of 12. When I revealed how that coach eventually violated and molested me after months of grooming me, “A” began to cry.

For the rest of the meeting, “A” became silent and kept nodding his head to the things I was saying. When the meeting came to an end, he apologized for how strongly he had acted in the beginning of the meeting and thanked me for my honestly. He also asked me for my number and gave me a fist bump just prior to us boarding the elevator. When I stepped off the elevator while he remained to head to the patient floor, he promised to call me, something I’ve come not to rely much upon over the years, as most never do. But, the very next day, my birthday, he actually did call me, not to ask for help though. Rather, he called solely to wish me a Happy Birthday, being that I had mentioned it during the meeting. Words can’t describe the feeling I had after that within me, but it most definitely was one that was filled with immense gratitude.

This is truly why I love 12 Step recovery as much as I do and why I love living out the 12th step itself. “A” is someone I will probably always remember, not only for the spiritual breakthrough his heart experienced during the meeting, but also for his thinking of me for my own celebration, a selfless gift from him that was truly priceless and well worth the subject for today’s Grateful Heart Monday!

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson