Some have said that I need to take more of a serious stance on the pressing issues in our country presently, that I should pay more attention to the news, and stop sticking my head in the sand with all that’s going on in our country. Am I really sticking my head in the sand because I haven’t been paying attention to the ever-increasing number of cases and deaths from COVID-19? Am I really sticking my head in the sand because I haven’t been out there protesting alongside the Black Lives Matter movement? And I really sticking my head in the sand because I haven’t cared much about what our current President has said or done or who our next President will even be?
Here’s my simple truth.
I do care about all those who have suffered from COVID and who have died. I do care about all the tragic police brutality and all those who have wrongly suffered from it. And I do care about having a spiritually healthy President who I could actually aspire to be more like. But, the fact is, I haven’t been placing my energy into any of those things whatsoever, not because I don’t care about them, but because my energy has been 100% focused on something that’s far more important to me, that being my recovery from addiction.
I have often pondered, especially in recent months, giving up my sobriety to alcohol and drugs and cigarettes and sex and love and a number of other former addictions as well, all because I’ve felt so terrible inside my body day after day after day. So, one might say I’ve been fighting daily to keep my sobriety by investing ALL of my energy both into remaining clean and sober from so many deadly addictions that each almost took my life, and into helping others still suffering from any of those addictions too.
There still are over 130 people a day dying from overdoses in this country. There still are people regularly drowning their sorrows in booze who don’t know how to stop. There still are people who have COPD and yet continue to chain smoke. There still are people who spend hours engaging in unhealthy promiscuity and pornography. But helping them isn’t the priority for the majority of the masses right now, but it is for me. Because my sobriety and recovery depend on helping others who are still suffering from addiction.
The only remedy I’ve found to all my frustration, suffering, and outright madness surrounding my present state of health has been to stay in the trenches helping others who have suffered from any one of the addictions I ever succumbed to in this life. And somehow doing so, has kept me clean and sober through all of these difficult times we’re living in.
Look, if I don’t remain clean and sober, I will die. I know that today. My father and mother both died from addiction and I’ve often thought about following in their shoes because I can’t take the pain of my existence at times. But, somehow, getting out there and helping another suffering addict, has kept me going in a different direction then them, ONE DAY AT A TIME, through even the worst of pain I’ve felt within.
So, while it may seem like I’m sticking my head in the sand on all of these pressing issues in our country right now and that I don’t care about them, I do care. BUT, I care far more about my sobriety, remaining alive, and doing everything I can to stay clean and sober from a number of addictions that once completely ravaged my life. How I do that is the only way I know, by placing every bit of my energy into my 12-step recovery work, especially by helping another suffering soul who hasn’t been freed yet from their addiction.
My energy is totally on my 12 Step recovery and I’m ok with that, because if I don’t have my recovery from addiction, I have nothing, including the energy for anyone or anything else, not COVID, not Black Lives Matter, not the President, nothing. So, thank God for my sobriety and thank God I’m not sticking my head in the sand when it comes to my recovery. Because without it, I’d surely be dead…
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson