I tend to believe our Higher Selves, that Spirit within us, our intuition, or whatever you wish to refer to as that part of us that’s connected to a oneness with everyone and everything, occasionally provides us signs and warnings from time to time, so long as we allow ourselves to pay attention to them. But sadly, many of us far too often tend to ignore them and instead blast head first into some action that only ends up causing us great pain and hardship, like it did for me one evening just recently when I chose to ignore a number of them that came my way, one after another.
It all started with me having an off day where I felt somewhat angrily cocked inside during most of it, mainly towards my ongoing frustrations with God, my partner, and my health. But ultimately, I was really just feeling self-piteous about what I didn’t have, instead of focusing on some gratitude from what I did have. Because of it, I decided it’d be a great night to go out and blow off some steam by taking a drive in my little sports car I keep in storage more than not, that being my 1998 Acura Integra Type R. I rarely drive the thing and have kept it mostly as a reminder of a life I was once lived in almost total ego. The car itself honestly could be used on a set from one of those Fast and the Furious movies.
Nevertheless, I kept hearing this voice within me that night saying, “I don’t think it’s a good idea you take the car out tonight.” Yet, I rationalized over and over again telling myself that I just needed to clear my head a little and how taking that vehicle out for a night drive would be an absolute perfect remedy, especially since I hadn’t driven the thing in four months at that point, let alone even start it up.
So, just prior to me starting its engine, my phone rang. It was a good friend of mine, Jason, who wanted to talk about a big action he had just taken, one that was a huge leap for him in a very positive direction. At that moment, I heard that voice again tell me, “Why don’t you stay home and chat with your friend instead, as he probably needs a shoulder to lean on right now.” But, I chose to ignore it once more by quickly congratulating him on his accomplishment, and then saying I couldn’t talk because I needed my hands free for the drive I was about to take in my shift-based vehicle.
After I hung up, I started the car and immediately noticed my LED interior lights weren’t working. Yes, I actually have an LED interior light system, which admitting seems so very superficial to me right now! Regardless, I tried to find the source of the problem for a good fifteen minutes, further delaying my drive. That’s when I heard that voice yet again say, “Stay home! You’re not meant to go out tonight.” But, I kept right on ignoring it by leaving anyway and heading out onto the highway shortly thereafter, driving somewhat carelessly. Over and over and over again, I kept hearing that voice somewhere within me saying, “Just turn around and go home.” Looking back, I’m kicking myself now why I didn’t.
Twenty minutes later, I decided it’d be pretty cool to stop and get something to drink at a gas station just off an exit. I really didn’t need one, as I wasn’t that thirsty, but truth be told, I just wanted to stop in the hopes of garnering a little attention, especially when the Lamborghini-based doors open up on my car. Yes, I did say Lamborghini-based doors, which admitting, further makes me sound so very superficial.
Yup, more ego.
At that point, that voice within me was almost screaming to go home. That was my final warning that I recklessly chose to ignore, as I drove off the highway and into the nearest gas station. After satisfying my ego, I zoomed back into the ramp leading onto the highway. Not really paying attention as much as I should have been, suddenly, my left front tire hit the center median, causing my car to jackknife onto it, like I was a rollercoaster on a track. Sitting as low as it does, my vehicle became completely wrecked underneath as I tried to steer off of it without flipping. I jerked the wheel to the right, causing the left wheel’s rim to somehow essentially disintegrate, which then lurched my car straight across the road on nothing but metal, landing me half in the breakdown area on that entrance ramp.
It’s honestly a miracle my car didn’t flip, and even more so that there wasn’t a single car in sight on either the on ramp or the off ramp when any of this happened. Somehow, I think God had something to do with both, just as much as I think my Higher Self had given me ample signs and warnings that could have prevented the whole thing.
It was a hard lesson to learn, which probably will end up costing about $10k to repair when all is said and done. Thank goodness for insurance, but more so, thank goodness that I, nor anyone else, got hurt. Well, let me adjust that statement slightly. One thing actually did get hurt…or bruised shall I say.
Because, at the source of why any of us tend to avoid listening to those signs and warnings that occasionally come from our Higher Selves, our Spirit, our intuition, or from whatever connects us to a oneness with everyone and everything, is simply our egos. And it’s quite obvious I still have a lot of work to do around mine.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson