I don’t like to be picked on, AT ALL. And I especially don’t like being picked on when it’s around a group of people. I’ve been picked on my whole life, for whatever the reason. Ever since I was a little kid, I always seemed to become the recipient of everyone’s jokes and pranks. Getting laughed at by a number of people all at once was a typical occurrence. And while everyone else always seemed to be laughing at me, I was constantly crying silently within, wishing to God they’d stop.
What I’ve learned over time is that anyone who tends to frequently make fun of someone else or has a laugh regularly at another’s expense is because deep down they’re totally insecure about some part of themselves and may not even be aware of it, that is until the tables get turned onto them. Because once they are, once they become the recipient of being made fun of, they usually get quite angry and irritated.
The fact is, I don’t think anyone really likes being made fun of, especially when it’s picking apart their flaws or imperfections. The simple reality of why anyone does this type of behavior is to take the focus off of themselves, to make sure no one ever sees their own flaws or imperfections. Because when everyone else is laughing at the person they’re picking on, no one is going to be laughing at their own shortcomings.
What I find the most frustrating though about getting picked on is when the person picking on me tells me I need to “lighten up” or “develop a thicker skin”. Because, you know what?
I DON’T NEED TO DO EITHER!
While I may be a sensitive person and while I may be an emotional person, I don’t need to ever change myself just to become a better recipient of getting picked on. No one should have to change any part of themselves just to become a better recipient of another’s jokes and pranks. Lightening up or developing a thicker skin is solely that person’s way of wanting to feel better about their toxic behavior. Because deep down, their Spirit knows it isn’t right and also knows it’s causing more pain than good. Yet, so long as they keep getting everyone else to laugh at who they’re picking on, they generally will keep doing the toxic behavior anyway. That is, until one day, when the tables fully get turned onto them, when one of their flaws or shortcomings become the constant recipient of another’s jokes and pranks, as it’s then they start truly feeling the terrible pain of that.
Picking upon another’s flaws and imperfections and having a good laugh at their expense is by far the worst type of humor out there in my humble opinion. But you know what I find to be the best type of humor? When people learn to make fun of themselves, when they take their own flaws and imperfections and make light of them. That’s pretty awesome whenever I see people doing that. On NBC’s America’s Got Talent, I’ve seen both a person with a severe stuttering issue, and another with Tourette’s Syndrome, both take the stage and make the most incredible comedic routine about their limiting conditions. When a person makes fun of themselves and is the one driving the humor, it always feels a lot brighter, a lot lighter, and ok to laugh at. But when a person has some type of limiting condition, like in my case, with severe hypochondria and OCD, for another to make fun of that, never feels good to me one bit. Because that type of humor isn’t coming from an unconditionally loving or spiritual type of place.
Truth be told, the quickest way for me these days to start distancing myself from someone is when they’re regularly picking on me and having a good laugh at my expense. I’ve developed a thick enough of skin now to at least say I don’t need someone like that in my life. And just because someone tells me they only pick on those they like doesn’t change the fact it still hurts when it happens.
The bottom line is that I don’t want to be a doormat for someone else’s humor anymore. It never feels good and I know that many others who’ve walked in my shoes, who once were a “nerd”, “dork”, “geek” or “freak” or labeled something else demeaning like that in their childhood like I was, would totally understand what I’m saying and agree.
So, the next time you think that picking on me, or anyone for that matter, is a good thing to do, if you truly care about me, or the person you are doing it to, you might want to stop and make fun of yourself instead. Because having a good laugh at my or another’s expense, laughing at one of our flaws or imperfections, things we already struggle with enough in life, is not a spiritual quality, nor is a quality I ever wish to have in someone I call a friend.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson