Silly Joke #1
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him out cold. A passersby pulled him from the wreckage and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he had calmed down, they asked him why he had struggled so. He said, a bit sheepishly, “I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of this huge, flashing sign. Turns out the person helping me was standing in front of the ‘S’ on the ‘Shell’ sign!”
Silly Joke #2
Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn’t believe in capital punishment and didn’t want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course. But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness and quiet calm, and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury. “Madam,” he explained, “this is not a murder trial! It’s a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $12,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday.” “Well, okay,” agreed Mrs. Hunter quite abruptly, “I’ll serve! I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all!”
Silly Joke #3
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
“Yes,” he said. “I do. My father taught me.”
“Good. What comes after three.”
“Four,” answers the boy.
“What comes after six?”
“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your dad did a good job. And what about what comes after ten?”
“A jack!” says lil’ Johnny quite proudly.
Bonus Silly Joke
An airline captain was helping a new blond stewardess get situated in her new job. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed her the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she obviously needs a little more guidance from him because she couldn’t get out of her hotel room. ” You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked a little shocked. “And why not?” The stewardess replied: “Well, there are only three doors in here,” she sobbed, “One is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson