While my partner regularly enjoys watching LGBTQ-based movies on Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Hulu, I’m not normally one to do so myself, mostly because of the stereotypical way they often end up depicting our culture. And what I mean by that, I’m referring mostly to the feminine depiction of gay men who are overly promiscuous-based, that regularly use alcohol and drugs, and tend to be vicious towards each other. Occasionally though, I still do watch one from time to time because of Oscar buzz surrounding it, which is the case with the recent release of “The Boys in the Band”.
Starring quite the cast of a number of well-known openly gay actors that include Jim Parsons (Michael), Zachary Quinto (Harold), Matt Bomer (Donald), Andrew Rannells (Larry), Charlie Carver (Cowboy), Robin de Jesus (Emory), Brian Hutchinson (Alan), Michael Benjamin Washington (Bernard), and Tuc Watkins (Hank), “The Boys in the Band” centers around a birthday party being held at Michael’s home for Harold in a 1968 New York City setting. There a surprise guest and a drunken party game leave each of the attendees dealing with unspoken feelings and buried truths.
For as much as I thought the acting and directing in this movie was superb, I really found much of the storyline overly upsetting due to the stereotypical depiction that continues to be made of the gay culture both on film and television. From the over the top flamboyancy of many of the party guests, to the cutthroat and ruthless comments they regularly made towards each other, to the drowning of their sorrows in booze and marijuana, to suggesting that most gay men don’t want to remain monogamous, I ended up cringing more than applauding the overall art direction of this film.
Please let me clarify though that there have been a number of LGBTQ-based movies that I have found spiritual connection with, that depict true love, devotion, kindness, and a desire for monogamy. Movies like “Brokeback Mountain”, “Love, Simon”, “Call Me By Your Name”, “Boys Don’t Cry”, and “Moonlight”. Why “The Boys in the Band” isn’t one I’d place with them is simply because it continues to portray that ongoing stereotypical belief that many religious folk continue to have of us who feel we can’t be monogamous, that all of us are feminine, that we all do alcohol and drugs and regularly promote the frequent use of them for our fun, and that we all are so self-loathing that all we do is put each other down in our day-to-day connections with each other.
I sometimes wonder if that’s why so many Christians interpret the Bible in the way they do towards us, saying same-sex relationships are sinful because of the way we depict them over and over and over again in films and television shows. I mean if we keep on showing the predominance of promiscuity, femininity, alcohol and drug use, and cutthroat cattiness towards each other in the majority of LGBTQ individuals in movies and television how can anyone ever know that there is a world of diversity out there in the same culture, where there does exist masculine men and feminine women having beautiful, healthy, caring, and monogamous relationships just like the one I’ve been having for many years now.
While of course there is indeed promiscuity, feminine men and masculine women, alcohol and drug use, and meanness in the LGBTQ culture, there too exists very much of the same in the heterosexual culture, but at least in that culture, there have been countless films to depict otherwise.
Maybe our culture wouldn’t have such a constant stereotypical depiction being made of it if we could start making more films and television shows that depict true unconditional love and devotion centered around both men and women who have higher principles in life and do their best to live in connection with a Higher Power guiding them.
Regardless, while “The Boys in the Band” blew me away with how well acted it was and how believable the characters actually felt, I was left in the end feeling quite saddened by the overly upsetting stereotypes that continue to be made of our culture. Hopefully one day this won’t be the case. Hopefully one day relationships just like the one I’m having with my partner Chris get depicted just as much in film and on television. Relationships where masculine men and feminine women are shown in same-sex relationships that are truly monogamous, where alcohol and drug addiction doesn’t guide them, and where unconditional love, acts of kindness, and a desire to serve God at their core exists. Maybe then, when more of those types of relationships are shown in LGBTQ-based film, people will finally stop placing those stereotypical and sin-shaming judgments upon us.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
