Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

Two lawyers were in a coffee shop talking. One of the lawyers names was Thomas Strange. After a while their conversation became rather morbid, and they started to started to talk about what they were going to have on their tomb stones. Thomas said the he wasn’t going to have his name put on his tomb stone, instead he was going have “Here lies the body of an honest lawyer!!!” “Why are you going to have that?” asked his friend. “Well”, said Thomas, “When people are walking through the cemetery, and they see…”Here lies the body of an honest lawyer” they will say “Oh…that’s Strange”.

Silly Joke #2

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, “You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.” The cowboy replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas , we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I’m drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself.” The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.” The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. “Oh, no, everybody’s just fine,” he explains, “It’s just that my wife and I joined the Morman Church and I had to quit drinking.” “Hasn’t affected my brothers though.” 

Silly Joke #3

Sometimes women can be overly suspicious of their husbands like when Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. “You’re running around with other women,” she charged. “You’re being unreasonable,” Adam responded. “You’re the only woman on earth!”  The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.  “What do you think you’re doing?!” Adam demanded. “Counting your ribs!” said Eve.

Bonus Silly Joke (4 quick ones)

It’s been raining for days now and my husband seems very depressed by it…He keeps standing by the window, staring. If it continues, I’m going to have to let him in!

You know, it seems like one minute you’re young and fun…and the next minute you’re turning down the stereo in the car so you can see better!

This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance, Baby, all I want from you this year is an Xbox. Thats it. Beginning and end of list: Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine — because I got her an Xbox.

Silence is golden…
Unless you have children…
If that is the case, silence is suspicious.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson