Silly Joke #1
Bill: Say, where’d ya get that nice gold watch Joe?
Joe: I won it in a race!
Bill: Oh yeah? How many people participated in it?
Joe: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!
Silly Joke #2
A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, which said: ‘Rest in Peace.’ The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied: ‘Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this – somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying: ‘Congratulations on your new location!”
Silly Joke #3
At a church meeting, a very wealthy man rose to tell the rest of those present about his Christian faith. “I’m a millionaire,” he said, “and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life. I remember that turning point in my faith. I had just earned my first dollar and I went to a church meeting that night. The speaker was a missionary who told about his work. I knew that I only had a dollar bill and I had to either give it all to God’s work or give nothing at all. So at that moment, I decided to give my whole dollar to God. I believe that God blessed that decision, and that is why I am a rich man today.” When he finished and moved toward his seat, there was an awed silence As he sat down, a little old lady sitting in the same pew leaned over and said to him, “I dare you to do it again.”
Bonus Silly Joke
Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply “It could have been worse.” To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it. On the golf course one day, one of them said, “Frank, did you hear about Tom?” “He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!” “That’s awful,” said Frank, “but it could have been worse.” “How in the hell,” asked his bewildered friend, “could it have been worse?” “Well,” replied Frank, “if it happened the night before, I’d be dead now!”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson