Silly Joke #1
One day, Jimmy Jones was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin. “Bubba, where’d you git that purty truck?!?” “Tammie give it to me!” Bubba replied. “She gave it to ya? I know’d she wuz kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?” “Well, Jimmy Jones, let me tell you what happened. We wuz drivin’ out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowheres. Tammie pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said,’Bubba, take whatever you want.’ So I took the truck! ” “Bubba, you a smart man! Them clothes woulda never fit you!”
Silly Joke #2
With all the new technology regarding fertility, an 88-year-old woman was amazingly able to give birth to a baby recently. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, various relatives came to visit. “May we see the new baby?” one of them asked. “Not yet,” said the mother. “I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.” Another half hour passed before another relative asked, “May we see the new baby now?” “No, not yet,” said the mother. A while later and again the guests asked, “May we see the baby now?!” “No, not yet,” replied the mother. Growing impatient, they asked, “Well, when can we see the baby then?!” “When it cries,” she told them. “When it cries???!!!” they gasped. “Why do we have to wait until it cries?” “Because, I forgot where I put it!”
Silly Joke #3
A blonde found herself very lonely when her husband went to work every day. So one day she decided to try a jigsaw puzzle to keep her mind occupied. She lay all the pieces out on the table but she could not get any two pieces to fit together. A few hours later her husband come home to find her very upset and almost in tears. He asked her what was wrong and she replied- “I cant solve this stupid jigsaw puzzle! Its supposed to be a tiger but I cant even get two pieces to fit together!” The husband looked at the table, took a deep breath and said- “Why don’t i make us both a cup of coffee dear and we’ll sit down together and put all those Frosted Flakes back in the box ok?”
Bonus Silly Joke (Three short ones!)
Did you know I used to run a dating agency for chicken? It didn’t really work out though because I struggled to make hens meet!
A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.
Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!
Nurse: What is it?
Doctor: It’s a big building with a lot of doctors, but that’s not important now!
Wife: “Whenever I keep money in my purse, our son steals it! I don’t know what to do honey?”
Husband: “Hide it in his books dear. You know he’ll never touch them…”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson