Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up and scratching their heads. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. “We’re supposed to find the height of this flagpole,” said Bubba, “but we don’t have a ladder.” The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts at the base, and laid the pole easily down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, and announced, “Eighteen feet, six inches,” and walked away. Junior shook his head and laughed. “Ain’t that just like a dumb woman! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!”

Silly Joke #2 (2 Little Johnny jokes)

Little Johnny was attending his first wedding, watching the proceedings with interest for a while before growing restless. The groom stood at the altar as six bridesmaids walked slowly up the aisle, one by one. Soon, Little Johnny leaned over to his mom and whispered, “Can’t he hurry up and just pick one?! Geez!!!”

It was the end of the day when a patrol officer parked his car in front of the station. As he gathered up his equipment, his K-9 partner, Jake, was barking. Just then Little Johnny walked by and said, “Is that a dog you got in the back seat there?” he asked. “It sure is,” the officer replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the car. Finally he said, “What’d he do?”

Silly Joke #3

A blonde called and asked the pharmacist, “My doctor ordered this prescription of ninety cholesterol pills for me, which I got filled at your pharmacy. As I was reaching towards the end of bottle a packet dropped out. It instructed ‘Do Not Eat’. Well that was three days ago, can you tell me when I can start eating again? Because I’m really starving!”

Bonus Silly Joke (Adult Humor)

A man was called to testify at the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) and asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. “Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper,” the accountant replied. He then asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. “Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie.” Confused, the man went to his Priest, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution of the dilemma.”Let me tell you a story,” replied the Priest. “A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. ‘Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.’ But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel.” The man protested: “What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?!” “Simple”, replied the Priest… “It doesn’t matter what you wear, you are going to get screwed!”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson