Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

Fellow 1 : “Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. And it ended up being the right year too. Not only that, but he also knew what time he would die that day as well, and he ended being right about that too.” 
Fellow 2 : “Wow, that’s Incredible. How did he know all that? Was he psychic or something?” 
Fellow 1 : “Naw, his judge told him.”

Silly Joke #2

A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards to all her friends and loved ones. She says to the clerk, “May I have 50 Christmas stamps?” The clerk says, “What denomination?” The woman says, “God help us. Has it come to this? Ok, give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.”

Silly Joke #3

Two very negative businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. One of them, suddenly says to the other, ‘You know what I can’t stand?” “What’s that?” His business partner responded, “That we’re always getting interrupted by someone looking in our store window, then pounding on our door and asking what type of store this is.” “I agree!” No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior citizen walked up to the window, took a peek, and then pounded on the door. When the irritated business partner opened it, the individual asked, “So, what are you selling here?” The businessman who had just brought this up answered sarcastically, “We’re selling assh*les buddy…” while his business partner laughed cynically. The senior citizen responded, “Well from the looks of it, it’s a success, as there’s only two left!!!”

Bonus Silly Joke

A physician had just finished up a successful colonoscopy where there were no negative findings and was now meeting with the patient post-procedure letting him know. 
Physician: “So, all is looking great! Do you have any more questions for me?” 
Patient: “Just one Doctor, is there any way you could you write a note for my wife?” 
Physician: “What ever for?” 
Patient: “I need you to tell her that my head really isn’t up there ok?”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson