Silly Joke #1 (2 quick ones)
A blonde lady in the pet shop asks about buying a gold fish. The salesperson ask if she needed an aquarium. She replied, ‘I really don’t care what sign it is.’
A husband was angrily throwing darts at his wife’s photo tacked to his dart board in the basement. He hadn’t successfully hit it yet when suddenly his wife called to him downstairs.
Wife: “Honey, what are you doing down there?”
Husband: “MISSING YOU, DEAR!”
Silly Joke #2
Store Manager: “I saw you arguing with that customer who just left. I told you before that the customer is always right!!! Do you understand me?!”
Salesclerk: “Yes, sir. The customer is always right.”
Store Manager: “That’s better. Now what were you arguing with the customer about?”
Salesclerk: “Well, sir, he said you were an idiot…”
Silly Joke #3
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, “Daddy, what is sex?” The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the “birds and the bees.” When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, “Why did you ask this question anyway?” The little girl replied, “Well, mommy told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in a couple of secs.”
Bonus Silly Joke
There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his testicles weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn’t know what to do with him. Then, the chief surgeon who had a terrible sense of humor walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, “We don’t know what to do with this baby.” So the chief surgeon took one look and said, “I think we might need to put him in the mental ward.” “Why would ever say such a thing?” asked the head nurse shocked he’d say such a thing. “Well…” replied the chief surgeon, “Take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts.”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
