Thought For The Day

Today’s quotes surround the subject of bringing yourself wherever you go…and the reality that you can’t run away and escape yourself…

“Wherever you go, there you are. You would just have different problems. Are the problems you have now so bad that any other problems would be better?” (Ada Calhoun)

“Well, wherever you go, whatever you do, you’re still you. You can change your surroundings, start a new life, but you’ll always fall into the same old patterns, make the same kind of friends, commit the same mistakes. The thing you need to change is yourself.” (Chris Wooding)

“No matter wherever you go, you won’t be able to escape yourself, so learn to accept yourself.” (Jigisha Kothari)

“How far do you have to travel to find yourself? Do you have to go anywhere to find you? Where do you think you have to go? To some holy place to find yourself? Wherever you are, you are. And all you have to know, is to get to know yourself. That is so simple.” (Prem Rawat)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

“You Bring Yourself Wherever You Go…”

There’s a saying I heard long ago in the rooms of 12 Step recovery from addiction that says, “You bring yourself wherever you go.” While it’s no secret that I’m ready to leave the Midwest and move back East, it’s the underlying message of this saying that has kept me here far longer than any other home I’ve ever lived in throughout my life since I left my childhood home and went off to college.

After almost 8 years here in Toledo, I feel now mostly like a fish out of water. I just haven’t quite fit this Midwest mentality, which in a nutshell is one of great reservedness. My partner Chris says I’m far too transparent for this neck of the woods and he feels it’s the main reason why I’ve struggled to connect with anyone here on a deep level. I’ve really wanted to jump ship because of this and head back East, preferably somewhere warm. My heart longs to live in the Tampa, St. Pete, Ft. Myer vicinity of Florida, but I’m open to living anywhere that’s close to the ocean really, as I’ve always felt closer to God there. It’s why I often think my life would be far easier living near the ocean somewhere, that maybe all my loneliness and daily pain would become far less. But that saying of bringing myself wherever I go comes to mind each time I ponder that.

Addicts tend to move around a lot in their lives, always thinking their unfortunate circumstances of life won’t be present if they move somewhere new. How many times I did this myself, recreating the very same situations repeatedly each time I moved I lost count. Here in this area, I’ve talked to many individuals that remind me of my old self, who say if they could just escape Toledo or Ohio or the Midwest in general, they’d be able to escape their miserable lives. It’s all a lie of course, one their ego tries to convince them of its validity. Because the reality is precisely what I learned over a decade ago, that whatever one’s unfortunate circumstances of life are, it will follow them wherever they go, so long as they aren’t working through what’s causing them.

I know my loneliness and pain levels wouldn’t shift much anywhere else. Over the past few years, I’ve seen that by getting away for good lengths of time, where none of my unfortunate circumstances changed whatsoever. So, even if I did find my way to somewhere like southern Florida and live within mere minutes of the ocean, I know it’s not going to change my life much for the better. This is primarily why it took me two years of long-distance dating before I moved here to live with Chris. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t trying to run away from something then. It wasn’t until I felt God push me in this direction that I finally did move. It’s indeed why I’m waiting here now, rather than letting my ego push me into moving right away.

Honestly, I feel like I was always meant to spend a period here in the Midwest, in Toledo specifically, and I’ve learned many wonderful lessons doing so. While I feel I’m ready to go now, I also trust that God will make a path to wherever I’m meant to go, when He’s ready for that. Leaving any time sooner is one that I feel would emanate from my ego and not my Spirit.

Therefore, I accept now that I really do bring myself wherever I go and maybe I’m still here in Toledo because I’m meant to finish working through something before God is ready for me to move on to somewhere new. After experiencing so many dead-ends and heightened struggles from the many ego-moves I’ve made in my life, I’m staying put until I truly feel God says it’s time to move on again…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

At my granddaughter’s wedding reception, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married longest. It turned out to be my husband and I. The DJ asked us, “What advice would you give to the newly married couple?” I said, “The three most important words in a marriage are, ‘You’re probably right.'” The DJ then looked at my husband and said, “What do you think?” He said, “She’s probably right.”

Silly Joke #2

A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium — he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, “Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?” The man says no. Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquires of the man next to him, “This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?” The man replies, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been to together since we got married in 1967.” “Well, that’s really sad,” says Bob, “but still, couldn’t you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?” “No,” the man replies, “they’re all at the funeral.”

Silly Joke #3

Mary and Jane are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time. Mary is upset because she thinks her husband doesn’t find her attractive anymore. “The more I get older, the more he doesn’t bother to look at me much anymore!” Mary cries. “I’m so sorry for you. I can’t say the same because the older I get, the more my husband stares at me and says I get more beautiful every day.” replies Jane. Mary immediately exclaims, “Well of course! That’s because your husband’s an antique dealer!”

Bonus Silly Joke

Jane and Ted got married at only 18 years old and went on to have 7 children. When Ted died of heart disease, Jane married again, and she and Bob had 6 more children. When Bob died suddenly after being killed in a car accident Jane remarried again and this time had 5 more children. When Jane finally died, after having 18 children, standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, “Lord, they are finally together.” Ethel leaned over and quietly asked Jane’s best friend, Margaret. “Margaret, do you think he means Jane’s 1st, 2nd, or 3rd husband?” Margaret said, “Actually, I think he means her legs, Ethel.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Today’s quotes surround the subject of global warming, a subject I often overlooked myself for years, always hearing about it on the news, never thinking about it much, until now.

“Only when the last tree has died and the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realize we cannot eat money.” (Indian Proverb)

“Climate change is no longer some far-off problem; it is happening here, it is happening now.” (Barack Obama)

“I always wondered why somebody wasn’t doing much about global warming, then I realized I am somebody.” (Unknown)

“Global warming threatens our health, our economy, our natural resources, and our children’s future. It is clear we must act.” (Eliot Spitzer)

“We are living on this planet as if we had another one to go to.” (Terri Swearingen)

“Global warming is no longer a philosophical threat, no longer a future threat, no longer a threat at all. It’s our reality.” (Bill McKibben)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Global Warming…Something I Can’t Ignore Anymore…

You can definitely say I’m one of those on this planet now who’s concerned about global warming. I wasn’t really in year’s past though, as experiencing subzero temperatures for many days and even weeks in a row, year after year, here in Toledo where I reside has a way of making one think about anything other than global warming. But, with what I’ve seen in nature in 2021, both here, and around the world, I am definitely growing more and more concerned.

After doing a little research on the internet I learned a lot about global warming. Climate change is intensifying our water cycle. This is turn is bringing about more intense rainfall and associated flooding in some areas or no rainfall whatsoever and intense drought for other areas. The sea level is rising rapidly with coastal flooding and erosion becoming far more frequent now. Extreme weather events that previously occurred here and there are now happening on a regular basis, every single year. I find it so amazing that the small global temperature increases of only a few degrees over the last century have changed so much about our weather and nature on our planet. I was shocked to learn that this cranking up of the temperature is making the oceans alone absorb the heat equivalent of five Hiroshima atomic bombs dropping into the water every second. That’s just mind boggling to ponder. The last time it was hotter than it is now is estimated to be at least 125,000 years ago. Earth’s atmosphere is now saturated with so many emissions from human activity, that the warmth it’s trapping is leading to more frequent periods of extreme heat and causing things like a billion sea creatures to die like it did in the Pacific this year alone. At this rate, it’s said that the heat will eventually push societies to the limits with such stifling humidity that will prevent sweat from evaporating and making it difficult for any of us to cool down. The same intense heat will also lead to more and more widespread wildfires, droughts, crop losses, and worse.

That being said, up until 2021, I can honestly say that although I constantly heard about global warming and saw signs of it on the news regularly in coverages of these growing climatic disasters, I never really witnessed it firsthand here at home. But this year, I finally did. Rare diseases hitting my yard and so many others around here well into October, diseases that are only based upon high humidity and heat. Maple trees all getting tarspot and losing their leaves in droves like it’s fall that started back in late June. Seeing insects that usually only have a spring to early summer cycle show up in droves all the way into late summer and early fall. Spiders have exploded in population this year around here! Perennials that normally start to go dormant by mid-September, blooming well in mid-October and even sprouting new growth. Heck, I’m still wearing shorts and t-shirts and October is already midway over. This time last year I was wearing sweatshirts and long pants almost a month earlier!

The fact is, global warming is real, but what can I do? The following is a list of the things I found online that each of us can begin to look into:

  • Speak Up (This is my first step in this!)
  • Power your home with renewable energy (Someday I’d really like to have a fully solar-powered home!)
  • Weatherize (Our home is pretty good with this already thankfully!)
  • Invest in energy-efficient appliances (An ongoing process that I have already begun a good while ago!)
  • Reduce water waste (Something I struggle doing due to my long showers!)
  • Eat the food you buy and make less of it meat (Thank you Mom and Dad for teaching me this long ago!)
  • But better bulbs (Been doing this one for a good long while already!)
  • Pull the plugs (Been doing this one for a good while too!)
  • Drive a fuel-efficient vehicle (Yay! My hybrid counts!)
  • Maintain your ride (Yay! I definitely do this one too with 280,000 miles and counting!)
  • Rethink plants, trains, automobiles in travel (Well the pandemic definitely led to this for me!)
  • Shrink your carbon profile (I need to look into this one further!)

All in all, I feel better in knowing I am already doing a good part in reducing global warming. I do hope to own a fully electric vehicle one day and I’m sure eventually all my outdoor equipment will be electric as well. Nevertheless, global warming is eventually going to kill our planet if we don’t each do something about it. I plan to keep doing my part, and hopefully you will too…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

Did you ever have a falling out with someone you truly cared about, that you eventually reconciled with and are grateful now to still have them in your life? (Share their first name(s) if you wish.)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson


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Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday. It is said having a grateful heart can help shift one’s energy to that of feeling bliss and joy, which is why I continue to practice this daily in my grateful journal, as well as in this blog, by writing weekly about a piece of it from my life. That being said, today’s piece of gratitude is dedicated to a recent visit here in Toledo from my dear friend Dexter, a person I never thought I’d ever see in person again.

To put it bluntly, I once broke Dexter’s heart by leading him on and using him for my own gain. I was spiritually broken and sick at the time and did that to him, as well as many others back then. It wasn’t until I went into a 12 Step recovery program (SLAA) to address this. There I saw how toxic I had become. That was 2011, which was also the last year I saw Dexter.

We had visited the Outer Banks together back then with a few of his close friends. The trip was mostly a disaster all because of how I was acting. I was very deep in a love addiction with a married individual at the time and had no idea just how much I was hurting Dexter in the process. Yet, Dexter being the guy he always has been, loved me anyway, until the pain became too great in his heart because of how I was treating him.

Ten years have gone by ever since then. I’m amazed at how fast time flies sometimes, as it seems like just yesterday that I was at the beach with Dexter in the Outer Banks. Sometimes I wish I could back to then and treat him the way he deserved. Over the past ten years, I’ve worked hard to gain his friendship and his trust back. While he’s forgiven me, he was never willing to come visit, because the pain in his heart remained. I honestly thought I’d never see him again and was always going to be limited to phone and video calls. I was even grateful for those, so when Dexter agreed to come visit me here in Toledo and meet my partner Chris, I was ecstatic. All the way up to the day of Dexter’s flight, I can honestly say I wondered if he was going to follow through with the trip. After all, the pain I caused him was immense and I know how difficult it was going to be for him to see me with Chris given the feelings he once had for me.

I consider myself blessed that Dexter got on his flight that day and followed through on a promise he made to himself to come see me again. Seeing him 10 years later, giving him a hug, and spending quality time here in Toledo reconnecting has been so important to me. I think Dexter and I will always have a heart connection and I pray to never hurt that again in any way, shape, or form. Breaking bread with him here, sharing coffee, laughter, visiting a museum, watching TV shows and movies, and just sharing a few days of his life in person with him was the best gift I could have ever received from a guy who has worn his heart on his sleeve from the day I first met him.

I’m grateful to you Dexter that you took time out of your busy life, braved your heart, and spent time with me again. My gratitude is immense over this, both to you and to God for making this happen. I may never be able to erase the pain I caused you all those years ago, but I can at least say today, you are an amazing man who shines brightly in his own unique way, and I’m blessed to remain a part of that and still walking part of my spiritual journey in life with you, both from afar and in person. Thank you for this trip, Dexter, it meant the world to me.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

What is one thing you do in life that may seem overly obsessive to someone else who doesn’t know you?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson


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Dear Neighbors…

Dear Neighbors,

I know many of you may not understand why I am the way I am. I’m sure many of you at times have probably thought I’m mentally ill because I’m outside all the time picking up debris, keeping my yard, a few others, and the street as well, clean. You may even think how absurd it is when I’m outside at times like 1am, flashlight in hand, picking up leaves. There’s a good chance some of you have even labeled me as OCD and judged I need medication, a job, or both. I’m quite sure some have even found my outdoor habits annoying at times, but can any of you really say you truly know why I am the way I am? This is why I decided to share those reasons with you here today.

My life feels very upside-down these days and has for a good while. It’s been at least four years now since I experienced any real happiness or joy. Living with chronic pain can do that to a human being, especially when you never get a break from it, even more so when no medication or any over-the-counter thing does any good except give plenty of negative side effects. For as much as I’ve wanted to go that natural route by using medical marijuana or some other THC-related coping mechanism, I haven’t because I’m a hard-core addict, who knows himself so well that if it gave me any relief, I’d start consuming as much of it as I could, becoming an active addict all over again. So, I do my best to cope with my painful state, fighting to not follow in my parent’s footsteps who both took their own lives, fighting to not relapse, and fighting to believe that there’s something Greater out there still guiding me through all this darkness.

Every day I fight to live, to overcome a psychiatrist’s warning I received many years ago, who told me I had a 60 percent chance of taking my life due to all the tragedies I’ve been through. What gives me purpose and helps me to keep going are two things, one you regularly see and one you don’t. The one you don’t is the volunteer recovery work I do in the addiction realm, while the one you do is my work outside.

Doing my work outside as obsessively as it seems, does help me to feel better. It truly helps to shift my focus away from my pain and all the things I’ve endured in life. My parent’s tragic and very abrupt deaths are only a scratch on the surface of what I’ve been through. Honestly, I consider myself a walking miracle for still being alive and sober from alcohol and drugs for the 26 years I have. The amount of PTSD I’ve experienced and worked through with things like being chronically bullied, molested, and emotionally and mentally abused more times than I care to remember, I know many in my shoes would probably already be dead or heavily medicated just to cope with it all. But, I’ve learned I have to find positive ways to keep going, and the one you all see the most is me outside, toiling away, on a task that I know is repetitive and I’m sure at times a nuisance.

Nevertheless, maybe the next time you see me outside, doing a task that undoubtedly appears overly obsessive, pointless, and possibly irritating, you’ll understand a little better now that it’s one of the only things I have left that makes me feel slightly better, that helps me to keep going on plenty of days, and gives me some sense of purpose. I pray none of you ever have to walk in the shoes I have thus far in life, because I wouldn’t wish that upon any of you. Regardless, I love you all.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

Billy Bob and his wife and son from waaaay out in the sticks finally decide go to the “big city” to a major hotel. When they get into the lobby, they are directed to the front desk to check in. While the wife is takin’ care of “the paper work,” Billy Bob and his son walk around the lobby looking at the amazing things there. One thing that catches both of their eyes is a recess in the wall with a crack down the middle. Just then, an elderly woman walks up, pushes a button next to the recess, and the wall opens up to a small room! She walks in and the wall closes, while lights above the secret doors flash along the top. They begin flashing in the other direction, and moments later the wall opens up and a shapely beautiful young lady, incredibly dressed, sashays out, walking by the man and his son both of whom’s jaws drop as she passes by. Billy Bob says the man to his son… “Son, go get your mother immediately!”

Silly Joke #2

A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: “Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.” The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. “You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you?” the widow asked: “Just look at you — you have no legs!” The old gent smiled: “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!” “You don’t have any arms either!” she snorted. Again, the old man smiled: “Therefore, I can never beat you!” She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: “Are you still good in bed?” The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said: “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

Silly Joke #3

A gorgeous blonde named Sally had been waiting entirely too long at the doctor’s office alone. Her appointment was for 9:00 and it was nearly 10:30. Finally, an attractive male nurse appeared at the waiting room door and said, “Sally, let’s go get a room.” “Honestly, I appreciate the offer,” she said, “but I’ve been waiting so long now, I’d hate to lose my spot!”

Bonus Silly Joke (NSFW: For Adults only)

Three couples go camping and one couple forgot to bring their tent. So they decide the men will sleep in one tent, and the women will sleep in the other. In the middle of the night while Larry was sound asleep, John whispered, “Bob, look at this bloody erection I’ve got. It must be all the fresh air. I’m going over to get my wife and go into the woods.” Bob whispered back, “You want me to come with you?” John whispered somewhat angrily, “Why the hell would I want you to come with me?!” Bob says, “Because that’s my cock your holding.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

Are you decorating this year for:
(1) Halloween? (Yes or No)
(2) Christmas? (Yes or No)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson


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Taking This Year Off From Holiday Decorating…

As we enter yet another holiday season of ghosties and ghoulies, turkey feasts with all those fixings, and the birth of Jesus Christ along with Santa’s arrival as well, I made the difficult choice this year to do something I haven’t done in over eight years, and that’s to not decorate at all during any of it.

For those who know me, I tend to go all out during the holidays in the way of decorating. If you were to drive down the street I live on during the month of October in prior years for example, you’d always see my entire front yard lit up with festive Halloween decorations. The same has been true mid-November through the beginning of January with tons of brightly lit Christmas decorations. All in all, between set-up and take down and making sure things stay lit and functional, the time and energy it encompasses has always been a huge undertaking in my life.

This is precisely why I’ve decided to take a break this year. To put it simply, I’m worn out. Between my ongoing health issues, this pandemic, and struggles in my relationship, I decided it was more important to take care of myself this year and reduce my stress level by refraining from holiday decorating. The last few years especially, holiday decorating has brought me an incredible amount of stress. Decorating for Christmas alone for example takes me at least two weeks of time for set-up and an entire day for takedown. There’s also the constant monitoring of it when it’s lit since things always seem to burn out. Sometimes there’s even been vandalism I’ve had to deal with causing me even greater stress.

This isn’t any sort of “Bah Humbug” syndrome, as I do plan on still honoring the holidays in different ways this year as compared to years past. I simply feel it’s important for me to take this year off from doing a task in the hopes it will not only give me a reduction in holiday stress, but also to bring forth a motivation to do it again in the future.

For as much as I do have sadness that all my lights and figurines and cheerful holiday adornments will remain in storage and dark this year, I feel it’s something I need to do to take care of myself, as I truly am struggling in my life right now just to keep going. Holiday decorating isn’t a necessity but taking care of my health is.

While I plan on appreciating other homes this year who do decorate this holiday season, hopefully, taking this year off from doing any of my own decorating will allow for a far more stress-free holiday season than what I’ve experienced in years past and maybe even experiencing a peace I haven’t been able to achieve in holidays past.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Today’s quotes surround the topic of bullying, a behavior that is toxic on every level. I’ve provided more than normal because I’ve been bullied before far too many times and each of these quotes really spoke to me on the subject.

“I realized that bullying never has to do with you. It’s the bully who’s insecure.” (Shay Mitchell)

“Is your child being bullied? Don’t make the assumption that s/he’s done something to bring on the teasing. Teasing isn’t always logical, and for your kid it doesn’t matter why – it just matters that it’s happening.” (Peggy Moss)

“Bullying is killing our kids. Being different is killing our kids and the kids who are bullying are dying inside. We have to save our kids whether they are bullied or they are bullying. They are all in pain.” (Cat Cora)

“It’s okay to dislike someone, or even dislike someone for no reason. But it’s not okay to disrespect, degrade, and humiliate that person.” (Unknown)

“When people say bad things about you it’s only because they are insecure with themselves. So next time someone says something mean remember it has NOTHING to do with you and EVERYTHING to do with them.” (Unknown)

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” (Harvey S. Firestone)

“You are being bullied if someone constantly demeans you, makes negative remarks about you, yells at you, criticizes you, and gives suggestions to you and then gives you guilt trips if you don’t take those suggestions.” (Unknown)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another entry in gratitude. Today’s Grateful Heart Monday is dedicated to finally standing up to a bully, something I was never able to do throughout my childhood and much of my adult life.

Getting bullied was one of the earliest PTSD-based experiences of my life. I first experienced this during my grammar school years where I got picked on regularly all the way up into my senior year. Being pushed down, getting tripped, books knocked out of my hands, ears flicked, spitballs hitting me, hearing daily taunts and the like, my childhood was a constant blur of being bullied. The only reason why it ended in my senior year was because I became a chameleon of sorts by blending in with what everyone else was wearing and doing. Unfortunately, the pattern came back in my adulthood with frequently becoming the butt of other people’s jokes and allowing friends to control me through their anger. Rarely have I stood up to a bully with any sort of force or defiance, that was until just recently when I was doing my routine yardwork outside.

There’s been a lot of yardwork this year due to all the weird weather we’ve had. Diseased leaves have been coming down in droves since late June/early July and a local nursery told me that I needed to get them picked up as soon as possible so as not to allow the transfer of the virus on the leaves to other trees. Because I had the free time, and given it’s been a positive focus to channel all my health frustrations into, I’ve spent many hours outside everyday with either a leaf vacuum, a shop vac, or a leaf blower, making my yard, the two neighbors next to mine, and the street around my home quite immaculate. While most of my neighbors have been appreciative of my OCD work effort, one neighbor hasn’t and recently began yelling at me about the noise I make. Ironically, prior to his very first outburst at me, I’d frequently hear him angrily shouting and being verbally abusive to his wife and kids. I was always grateful to not be the recipient of that. That changed one day when he came storming out and told me he couldn’t hear his tv and enjoy his marijuana. I had erroneously assumed he had been appreciative of my cleaning off his driveway and apologized, telling him I’d no longer step foot on any of his property. But that wasn’t good enough for him, as he told me I had no business cleaning up the street around him either. Why I’ve done that is because all the debris tends to come from his direction and blow into the yards I maintain given how close all the houses are to each other in my neighborhood.

The very next time I cleaned the street up again, I was just about done when I heard over the music in my noise-cancelling headphones and the noise of the equipment I was using at the time, his angry voice shouting in my direction. I did my best to ignore him because honestly, the guys scares me. He carries guns, has been in fights before, lost jobs repeatedly due to his outbursts of anger, and always seems to be yelling at something. I tend to slink away from people like him in life, but this time for whatever the reason, I finally stood my ground. As he approached me and got in my face, I said I had every right to keep the street clean because it was public access, and I wasn’t hurting anyone. I verified that with the local police who informed me I only needed to respect the 9am to 8pm noise ordinance and not step foot on his property, neither of which had happened during this incident. He told me he was going to call the police and tell them I was disturbing the peace and said he was also going to get his hose and spray me and cut my electrical cords to my equipment if I did it again. I told him to do what he had to and that I was going to keep doing what I enjoyed doing. I told him to go pray and close his windows the next time I was outside doing my work, of which he responded angrily that I was a “total piece of sh$$” and walked away.

Deep down, I know this guy’s anger and bullying tactics isn’t really about me at all. Most bullies become that way because they were bullied themselves, usually by a parent growing up. I’m done catering to bullies and living in fear over people like him. I am going to continue doing my work outside, including cleaning up the street, because it’s not harming him or anyone, it’s just making me a magnet for him to project his own misery onto. That’s what bullies do and I’m truly grateful I finally stood up to one in my life and I plan on calling the police if this ever escalates again.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

How many people have you known in your life to have died from a drug overdose?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson


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Drug Addicts Lives Matter Too…

While much of the news in the world continues to be on the incredible amount of COVID deaths whose number sadly keeps on increasing (close to 5 million worldwide as of the time of me writing this), there’s another fatality rate rapidly rising as well, and that’s drug overdoses.

While nowhere close to the staggering tally of COVID deaths in such a short period of time, the amount of drug overdose deaths in our country has been increasing by 20 percent every year. Last year close to 100,000 Americans died from drug overdoses, which sadly, deaths like theirs often get overlooked. But, drug addicts lives do matter just as much as COVID lives matter.

Many tend to think that drug addicts are hopeless beings not worth the effort saving. I’ve even heard some say “good riddance” when the news has reported on another drug overdose death. What the news doesn’t tell you is how many times these deaths aren’t from chronic drug users. Many are just people who picked up some drug for the first time, like during this pandemic to cope with all the quarantining and isolation it has brought. And as drugs have been getting laced more and more with lord knows what these days, people are dying at rapid rates.

A few weeks ago, for example, a tainted drug shipment was seized in California of a close derivate of fentanyl, where each dose was discovered to be lethal. If it had been released into the US population, it would have killed close to 50 million individuals. Then there’s the sad statistic of a girl I met recently at a detox I volunteer at weekly in my area who told me that 47 of her graduating class of 84 people have already died from drug overdoses!

Some might say that her classmates’ deaths could have been prevented far more easily than COVID deaths. Being in recovery from the same addiction, when I was once deep in this disease, I had very little control if any at all over my substance abuse. My brain always made it feel like I had no choice but to keep on doing the addiction. When I was in that place, I couldn’t stop no matter how hard I tried. I also felt like I didn’t matter through most of it and many made sure to tell me that during that period, rather than ever offer me any love. The irony though is that what ended my life of addiction wasn’t me finding control over it, it was others loving me and reminding me I did matter.

Nevertheless, while vaccinating, mask wearing, and hopefully herd immunity will end this COVID pandemic at some point in the near future, the drug epidemic is only going to keep increasing so long as we keep on ignoring all the deaths coming from it. Since 1999, 1 million U.S. citizens have died from drug overdoses where each of those lives mattered. I do my part every week now to remind those struggling from this disease that they do matter to me and that I love them, as that truly was the only thing that helped me to ever find salvation from this disease.

At some point, the death toll from drug use is going to surpass that of COVID. One day it’s probably going to become front page news when some toxic batch of drugs gets released into the masses and kills in the tens of millions or more. I honestly wish we would all start placing more focus on helping those struggling with this disease, by providing the one vaccination drug users most need, which is one of love and light, something they are often devoid of. It will help make a huge difference in this drug epidemic, as I’m living proof of that.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

A man complains to a friend, “I can’t take it anymore.”
“What’s wrong?” his concerned friend asks.
“It’s my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!”
“You mean hysterical,” his friend said, chuckling.
“No, I mean HISTORICAL,” the man insists. “Every argument we have, she’ll go ‘I still remember that time when you…'”

Silly Joke #2

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said: “Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?” “Yes, I know,” said the lady, “But, I need both hands to hold onto this hat.” “But, madam, you must know that your privates are being exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, “Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. But, I just bought this hat yesterday!”

Silly Joke #3

My wife and I went to the County Agricultural Show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said: THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR. My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ….. smiled and said, “He mated 50 times last year, that’s almost once a week”. We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said: THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR. My wife gave me another healthy jab and said, “WOW~~That’s more than twice a week! ………. You could learn a lot from him”. We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said: THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR. My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,”That’s once a day .. You could REALLY learn something from this one”. I looked at her and said sarcastically, “Oh, yeah? Well, why don’t you go over and ask him if it was with the same cow?”

Bonus Silly Joke

Ron, an elderly man had owned a large farm in the country for several years. He had a large pond at the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and lime trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he excitedly saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. One of the women suddenly noticed he was staring at them from behind a tree and shouted, “You old pervert! We’re not coming out until you leave!” Ron frowned, “I’m not a pervert nor am I here to see a bunch of naked ladies in my pond!” Holding his bucket up, Ron said, “I’m here to feed the alligator!”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

What is one of your favorite religious or spiritual passages that has helped you in life?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson


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Daily Reflection

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. ‘” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Having spent much of my adult life working on all the broken parts of my past, I’ve found myself lately wondering if any of it has done any bit of good because it really seems as if all the things I thought I worked through already have been resurfacing again.

Agnosticism and doubting God even exists, deep insecurity, overly needy, high maintenance, irritable and short-tempered, negative thinking, and living in active addiction, each were things I spent countless hours working through over many years in 12 Step recovery, personal therapy, men’s groups, and the like, which by the end of 2014 I was mostly free of. I’d go so far as to say I was feeling extremely confident on my spiritual journey moving into 2015. Sadly, as my health issues began to rapidly intensify after that, many of these issues began to resurface again, which has left me wondering if God has a plan for me to ever prosper again.

Other than a five-day period of incredible relief in late August of 2017, where I felt God’s presence and trusted I was exactly where I was meant to be on this healing path, I’ve had no other moments of major relief. Plenty have said I’m crazy and even dumb for not choosing to take something to cope with it. Some have even suggested that maybe God was talking through them to tell me to medicate. A few even have gone so far as to suggest that maybe God doesn’t exist and that he’s just some “guy in the sky” one creates to cope when they’re in chronic pain. While I didn’t embark upon this path of natural healing initially specifically to grow closer to God, as it was more to just clean up a mind and body I had abused for too many years and lives, it has become the predominant thing I’ve sought now.

Lately though, I have so very little confidence in myself and in God, especially on days when my pain seems to control my words and actions more than not, but somehow, I still cling to a shard of faith, which in of itself I guess doesn’t qualify me for agnosticism yet. Living in pain though, for long periods of time with little to no relief on most days, truly does do a number on one’s faith. If you’ve ever been sick or ailing for long periods of time, then you’ll know what I mean. All of this has made it hard to remember what it feels like to be at peace, to know joy, or even by happy with anything. Yet, I continue to resist the urges of the world telling me to medicate or take things like CBD or medical marijuana because it simply doesn’t feel like the path God wants me to be on or what my soul energy even desires.

So, as people continue to tell me what I’m doing isn’t working and that I really need to change something up, I’m doing my best to keep trusting I’m doing exactly what I’m meant to with my health and healing. While my mind may not want to believe in this anymore, I cling to the promise of Jeremiah 29:11, that God still has a plan for me to prosper, one where my future is filled with hope and light…

Dear God, please help me to keep trusting You still have a plan for me to prosper in this life.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

Where has your pride and ego led to hurting something important in your life?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson


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Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude remains the sole subject of my writing for the day, which for today is for reconciliation and reconnection with two people in my life.

All too often in our world, ego-lines get drawn, grudges are made, and friendships divide because of it. Two of those happened in my life over the past year. One with a friend named Jason and one with a friend named Mike.

While I believe all conflicts that arise in a friendship have two sides, I’ve come to learn that it is my spiritual journey in 12 Step recovery to always own my part and never point the finger or place blame solely upon the other. Unfortunately, addicts, even those in recovery for a long time like me, still have the tendency to do this from time to time, not wanting to own our own part in some conflict.

When Jason and I had a falling out over a year ago, my ego took over, thinking I knew better for Jason, then Jason knew for Jason. I was wrong for that and eventually realized over the year we didn’t speak that I’d been doing that behavior with him long before the dividing event. After repeated attempts to contact Jason once I understood this, I finally showed up at his job with a peace offering, one of his favorite coffee drinks, and a sincere amends for the part I played in our division. I’m grateful to say that Jason and I are now speaking again and mending the path that was broken, one I feel could have been avoided if I had just kept my ego in check.

As for my friend Mike, while we have struggled from time to time in our differing opinions on several subjects ever since I first met him, the one that became the polarizing event between us was the one that dealt with vaccinated versus unvaccinated people. Sides got drawn because of this intense discussion, which led to three months with not a word spoken between us. In my recovery from addiction, I’ve learned it’s best to at least try to find a higher ground and overcome pride and ego. I did that with Mike by messaging him one day and saying I was open to talk and that our friendship still mattered to me. Thankfully, he did call, and we spent an hour getting honest and open with each other, where the result was our friendship getting a chance to move forward again, rather than not at all.

I honestly believe at the root of every conflict amongst loved ones is pride and ego. Sometimes pride and ego can lead to long periods of silence, silence that can last forever if never addressed. It’s why I’m grateful I overcame my own pride and ego to reach out to two people I do care about and love, to begin the process of healing with two friendships that truly do matter to me.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Today’s quotes surround the demon of addiction and are some great ones I found after writing yesterday’s article about addicts saying “I’ve Got This!” and then falling into yet another hopeless relapse…

“More than once I’ve thought “I’ve Got This!” “I know everything there is to know about recovery and addiction.” I’ve dealt with all my issues…I don’t really need to do any more work on myself.” Yep that usually happens right before I fall flat on my arse.” (Anonymous sober individual)

“Addiction is a monster. It lives inside and feeds off you, takes from you, controls you, and destroys you. “It’s a beast that tears you apart, rips out your soul, and laughs at your weakness. It is a stone wall that stands to keep you in and the rest out. It is a shadow that always lurks behind you, waiting to strike. Addiction lives in everyone’s ind, sitting, staring, waiting….a prisoner in your body!” (Anonymous sober individual)

“At every stage, addiction is driven by one of the most powerful, mysterious, and vital forces of human existence. What drives addiction is longing—a longing not just of brain, belly, or loins, but finally of the heart.” (Cornelius Platinga)

“At first, addiction is maintained by pleasure, but the intensity of this pleasure gradually diminishes and the addiction is then maintained by the avoidance of pain.” (Frank Tallis)

“Addiction begins with the hope that something “out there” can instantly fill up the emptiness inside.” (Jean Kilbourne)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

“I’ve Got This!”

After 26 years of sobriety, working the 12 Steps several times, attending thousands of 12 Step meetings, sponsoring so many individuals, doing countless 12 Step speaking engagements, and volunteering my time in a multitude of other ways as well in the recovery world from addiction, the last thing you’ll hear ever coming from my mouth ever again is the line “I’ve got this!”

“I’ve got this!” is a line frequently spoken from far too many addicts of all varieties. It tends to emanate from their mouth once all the hell of their past relapse begins to wane and life starts feeling better again for them. While it may seem harmless to say such a thing, what most addicts fail to fathom is that the precise moment those words are coming from their mouth, is the very moment when their ego is leading them straight back into their next relapse.

So many addicts don’t understand that there is no graduation from addiction and 12 Step recovery. The work we do in our recovery from addiction can never end because this disease is always doing pushups in another room waiting for us to breathe life back into it. I learned that the hard way by saying “I’ve Got This!” back in 2009 once I completed the steps for the first time.

After saying “I’ve Got This!” I began calling my sponsor at the time much less. I began going to meetings much less as well. Ultimately, I slowly stopped being of 12 Step service to the suffering world of addicts. Within a very short period, I fell back into my old selfish and self-centered behaviors, the very behaviors that lead most addicts back into another relapse. For this addict, I became convinced that all the hard work I had put into my recovery from addiction in 2007-2009 was enough to take a break and finally enjoy the benefits of all my 12 Step labor. It was my ego’s way of saying “I deserve a break from all the time put into this 12 Step stuff!” But it was all that 12 Step stuff that was keeping me selfless, sane, and spiritually healthy. And the more I got away from it, the more toxic I became as I surrounded myself with unhealthy things once more. In 2009, I became deeply engaged in several adulterous relationships because of going down this path. They consumed me for almost three years until I attempted suicide in 2011. I came very close to picking alcohol and drugs back up during that time as well, of which I am convinced today that none of this would have ever happened if I had just stuck around the rooms of recovery and gotten honest with myself and those there. Now, every time I do a 12 Step speaking engagement at a detox, I always ask now how many people there have said “I’ve Got This” prior to arriving there. Generally, at least 75 percent or more of the hands present have raised.

Engaging in an addiction always comes from the ego believing it knows better. It doesn’t because it’s the ego that feels a break is needed from all the recovery work when that’s the last thing that should be done. Most never realize that it’s all that recovery work that’s keeping a recovering addict healthy. And as soon as the ego convinces a person a break is needed from 12 Step recovery work, it’s the very moment where one’s addiction starts coming back to life again, where those push-ups being done in another room start manifesting themselves in far worse ways.

While doing all my 12 Step recovery work at times can be frustrating, exhausting, and tedious, it is something I have committed myself to stick to the rest of this life because I know ultimately where it took me the last time I mouthed those words, “I’ve Got This!” and that’s a road I pray I’ll never travel again…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children.” The next-door neighbor protested, “What?! Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children!” The wife replied, “Yes, but who wants HIM back?”

Silly Joke #2

A US Air Force C-141 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base in Greenland at midnight. During the pilot’s preflight check, he discovered that the aircraft’s latrine holding tank was still full from the last flight. So a message was sent to the base, and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it. The young man finally got to the air base and made his way to the aircraft, only to find that the latrine pump truck had been left outdoors and was frozen solid, so he had to find another one in the hangar, which takes even more time. He returned to the aircraft and was less than enthusiastic about what he had to do. Nevertheless, he went about the pumping job deliberately and carefully (and slowly) so as to not risk criticism later. As he’s left the plane, the pilot stopped him and said, “Son, your attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late, and I’m going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded, but punished.” Shivering in the cold, his task finished, the airman took a deep breath, stood up tall and said, “Sir, with all due respect, I’m not your son; I’m an Airman in the United States Air Force. I’ve been in Thule, Greenland for 11 months without any leave, and the reindeer are beginning to look pretty good to me. I have one stripe, it’s two-thirty in the morning, the temperature is 40 degrees below zero and my job here is to pump sh*t from your aircraft. Now just exactly what other form of punishment do you have in mind from this hell I’m already living in?!”

Silly Joke #3

One Sunday a priest announced he was passing out miniature crosses made of palm leaves. “Put this cross in the room where your family argues most,” he advised. “When you look at it, the cross will remind you that God is watching.” When the parishioners were leaving church, a woman walked up to the priest, shook his hand and said, “I’ll take five.”

Bonus Silly Joke

Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. “Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” he asked his mother. “It’s because he thinks a lot honey…” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband’s baldness. That was until Johnny thought for a second and asked, “So why do you have so much hair then?”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Today’s quotes focus on the subject of suffering and might help to bring some comfort to those who presently are going through deep trials and tribulations…

“Now that I’m suffering, I feel closer to people who suffer more than I ever did before. The other night, on TV, I saw people in Bosnia running across the street, getting fired upon, killed, innocent victims…and I just started to cry. I feel their anguish as if it were my own. I don’t know any of these people. But – how can I put this? I’m almost…drawn to them.” (Morrie Schwartz)

“The real problem is not why some pious, humble, believing people suffer, but why some do not.” (C.S. Lewis)

“The worst thing in the world is watching someone you love suffer in pain when there is nothing you can do to stop it.” (Vanessa Wilhoit)

“Suffering is part of our training program for becoming wise.” (Ram Dass)

If you have suffered more than your fair share of difficulties in life, perhaps you are being prepared to serve some greater purpose that will require you to be equipped with the wisdom you have acquired through your trials.” (Robin S. Sharma)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Probably The Greatest Mystery To Those Who Suffer So Greatly Is…

I have frequently questioned why I’ve had such a volatile life filled with plenty of PTSD-based events. While the drinking and drugging part of it was of my own making, just as much as the toxic addictive relationships I got myself in were as well, most of my life beyond that has been tumultuous at best and out of my control, which has left me wondering more than not, did I choose to live a life like this prior to incarnating, or did I just get dealt an unfortunate hand, or is it because of something else altogether that’s far beyond my comprehension?

Regardless, it is regularly said never to compare oneself and one’s life to another, but on this planet that’s a very challenging thing not to do when struggling with some type of pain for long periods of time. My ego has led me on far too many days to envy those who have had far more stabler lives, who have countless stories of joy to speak of. I honestly wish I had those to share as well.

What I do have to share about and have done my best to work through is parental alcoholism, childhood mental and emotional abuse, constant bullying in grammar school, being molested at 12, experiencing a father’s suicide, watching an addicted mother slowly and angrily wither away until her drunken fall down the stairs, seeing the only business I ever owned completely fail losing everything I had put into it, almost going through bankruptcy, losing much of my health in the process, and having the inability now to work for a living, where I’m more dependent than independent.

Because of living this turbulent life, most of which being truly out of my control, there are times I regularly picture myself in some heavenly-type place, a positive and peace-filled space, sitting with some higher being of light, telling them how I want to go through all these difficult things in the life I’m about to be born into, all so that I can eventually help others once I make it through them myself. Honestly, it’s the only thing that makes any sense as to why I’ve had so many unfortunate things happen to me. Thinking this way does help to bring me comfort, especially on those days when my physical pain becomes so great. But, telling myself anything otherwise, like my life is just a bad hand I got dealt, only ever leaves me feeling depressed and hopeless.

Having lived such an unsettling life, I’ve met many others along the way who’ve experienced similar lives or worse, where their greatest thought has been why some people have to suffer so greatly in this world, while others often seem to not suffer at all or very little. That question is probably the greatest mystery none of us will ever get an answer for in our lives.

Nevertheless, I continue to do my best to trust God, clean house, and help others in life, sharing from my heart with all that I’ve been through. What God’s plan is for me beyond this is truly out of my understanding at this time. I accept that there must be some reason why I’ve endured as much as I have. What that reason or reasons are, I don’t know, which is why I continue to do my best to leave it in God’s hands. It’s how I keep on, keeping on, in a world that often feels lonely and upside-down for me.

I pray every day now for peace and joy to come. Why some of us have to endure far more than others, I may never know. What I do know is that it’s faith and hope that keeps me believing there’s a being of Light who still does care about me and has a reason or reasons for why I’ve had to endure as much as I have. Hopefully, one day I’ll have that answer.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

If suddenly one of the things you really like to eat or drink disappeared forever in our world, which one would you miss the most?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson


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Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to this week’s Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude is the only expression in my writing for the day, which for today is for one of my friends, Tony Mattoni, and the good he does for so many.

The first time I really began to appreciate Tony was when I was at a Christmas gathering a few years ago. After the dinner ended, I really wanted one of my favorite holiday treats, a Peppermint Mocha Latte from Starbucks. He offered to drive me there and subsequently treated me to it. It was a nice gesture that I’d come to know over time in getting to know him that it’s just what he does for everyone.

If there ever was a person who’s willing to literally give the shirt off their back to help another, it’s Tony. While I’ve only been a part of his life for a short time, I’ve been around him long enough to see he truly does exude this trait. In fact, one day he was wearing a really cool pair of socks that had my favorite cartoon character on them, Marvin the Martian. I complimented him for them, telling him of my love for the Warner Brothers figure. He actually asked me if I wanted them and was willing to take them off, wash them, and give them to me! I didn’t take them of course, but it most assuredly was a beautiful trait about him that he’s simply just a giving type of guy.

In general, there are givers in this world and there are takers, but Tony is most definitely the former. Being a recovering addict, I’ve had to work hard to move from being a taker to a giver, as there were countless years of my life where I took more than I gave. That’s one thing I can say I’ve never seen when it comes to Tony, as he seems to be a care giver at heart and I think he would have made an incredible nurse in another life!

Nevertheless, Tony is also the type of guy who fronts the bill at every meal dined out, just because he likes doing so. He very much enjoys treating those eating with him and seeing their happiness because of it. I’ve tried several times to pay for some of the meals we’ve had together, which rarely goes over well because it’s honestly just something he likes to do and says he was raised to do so. I believe that, yet I do my best to still get him special coffees at Starbucks from time to time, because I personally struggle when anyone pays for me constantly. I don’t ever want someone to think I’m using them because I did do that far too much in my old active addict days.

Regardless, one of the most endearing traits of Tony is that his home is always opened to stop by and there’s typically a homemade dessert sitting on his counter for his guests to enjoy, as well as plenty of beverages to go around too. Every time I walk into Tony’s home, I feel extremely welcomed and I’ve seen others in his home feel that same way as well. He makes his home such the inviting place!

Beyond that, Tony is a great listener, an affectionate person with loving and caring touch, and even goes out of his way to feed stray cats off his back porch, which really makes me smile given I’m a cat person. I’m grateful Tony has become a part of my life and appreciate him for all that he does for me and so many others, which is why I’ve dedicated today’s Grateful Heart Monday to my dear friend Tony Mattoni.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Today’s quotes all deal with the subject of projecting one’s anger and frustrations of life onto another…

“I can feel pretty critical of people, and I understand that sort of feeling of when you’re going through something that’s painful, taking it out on the world and projecting onto other people, finding faults with other people, because it’s harder to find faults in yourself.” (Noah Baumbach)

“Those who habitually point out other people’s faults make the least desirable partners.” (Dr. Greg Kushnick)

“The best political, social, and spiritual work we can do is to withdraw the project of our shadow onto others.” (Carl Jung)

“If you want to know what you think of yourself, then ask yourself what you think of others and you will find the answer.” (Seth)

“Living in a box means being convinced that other people and our circumstances are responsible for our feelings and our helplessness to overcome them. What we can’t see when we’re in the box is that the way the world appears to us is a projection, and that we are making this projection to justify ourselves in self-betrayal. We cannot see that it’s not others’ actions but our accusation that result in our feeling offended.” (C. Terry Warner)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Daily Reflection

“We have become masters of projection, pushing the responsibility for our own thoughts outward, so that the consequences of our own thoughts become someone else’s problems.” (Darren Main)

Often it really feels like I’m a magnet for people to dump their crap onto, projecting their own life’s misery outward, blaming me for their own personal drama and baggage of life. It’s been that way ever since I was a kid with an alcoholic mother doing it to me with regularity. Nowadays, I find myself struggling immensely with this, with taking ownership of someone else’s problems.

For example, just because I’m still unvaccinated from COVID, doesn’t mean I’m the cause of the virus, or the cause of anyone’s death from it, or an anti-vaxxer, or an evangelical who doesn’t believe in this specific vaccine, or anything of the sort, because I’m none of those whatsoever. Yet I’ve been accused of being each of those things many times over from others, all because I remain presently unvaccinated, where most never take the time to really understand or accept my personal situation.

Another great example is this. Just because I’m outside at times for hours every single day, cleaning up my yard and two others, and even sweeping a good portion of street around me of debris, doesn’t mean that that the noise I make doing so during the normal hours of the day is the true source of two neighbors’ anger at me. It’s merely a projection they place their anger on.

One final example is what I wrote about in a previous blog where I made an honest mistake on the road one day, narrowly missing another driver in the process. It brought out road rage from them, where they ended up pursuing me for a good 15 minutes, doing their best to scare me, when none of their toxic anger was about me whatsoever.

Lately, it seems like the world is filled with this, with one person after another blaming someone or something else for the source of all their anger and frustrations of life, when the real source of it is themselves. It’s taken me a long while to see this because I once was that person who always looked outward in anger for my inward anger.

I typically get great reminders of this in my current relationship with my partner Chris. At times I fall back into this illusion and find myself projecting my anger onto him, and he with me, when in reality, we’re both broken individuals lashing out at each other.

In the end, I believe the only way to fully deflect this, is to keep working on my own inner peace, as truly, when one is filled with true inner peace, it doesn’t matter how much anger and projection is thrown my way, because when it is, that peace will help me see it’s not about me, it’s about them.

Gracious and most Heavenly God, I pray for help in seeing the true source of all my anger and frustrations of life isn’t about anyone else, but me. Help me come to peace surrounding all my circumstances of life, so that when others project any of their unwarranted anger my way, that Your peace will help me rise above it all, enough so that I’ll no longer own anyone else’s baggage in life.

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke 1

Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old nephew Little Johnny was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks. “Wow,” the lady said, “I must have worn these when I was 185.” Little Johnny looked totally puzzled and then asked, “Wait, how old are you now then?!”

Silly Joke #2

It was three o’clock in the morning, and the receptionist at a posh hotel was nodding off accidentally, when a frantic little old lady came running towards her, screaming. “Please come to my room quickly,” she yelled, “I just saw a naked man outside my window!” The receptionist immediately rushed up to the old lady’s room. “Where is he?” asked the receptionist. “He’s over there,” replied the little old lady, pointing to an apartment building opposite the hotel. The receptionist looked over and could see a man with no shirt on, moving around his apartment. “It’s probably a man who’s getting ready to go to bed,” she said reassuringly. “And how do you know he’s naked anyway, you can only see him from the waist up?” “The dresser, honey!” screamed the old lady. “You get a much better view hone you stand on this dresser!”

Silly Joke #3

A husband comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. “Where the hell have you been all night?” she demands. “At this new bar,” he says. “The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It’s got huge golden doors, a golden floor and even the urinals are gold!” The wife still doesn’t believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband’s story. “Is this the Golden Saloon?” she asks when the bartender answers the phone. “Yes it is,” bartender answers. “Do you have huge golden doors?” “Sure do.” “Do you have golden floors?” “Most certainly do.” “What about golden urinals?” There’s a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, “Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that pissed in your saxophone last night!”

Bonus Silly Joke

Tom did like he always did over the last thirty years of marriage, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? …… and who are you?” he asked. “This is not your bedroom,” the man replied, “I am St. Peter, and you are now in heaven.” “WHAT!!? I died in my sleep!? I don’t want to die yet!” said Tom. “Please send me back immediately!”  “It’s not that easy”, said St. Peter, “As you can only return as a dog or a hen. Your choice.”  Tom thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog just too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can’t be that bad. “I’ll return as a hen.” Tom replied. In the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear end was gonna blow …….. then along came the rooster. “Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm.” he said. “How does it feel?” “Well, it’s OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up.”  “Oh that!” said the rooster. “That’s only the ovulation going on. Have you never laid an egg before??Cluck twice, and then you push all you can.” Tom clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then ‘Plop’ and an egg was on the ground.  “Wow” Tom said “that felt really good!” So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: “Tom, for Pete’s sake!!! Wake up … you’re crapping all over the bed again!!!” 

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson