Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude remains the sole subject of my writing for the day, which for today is for reconciliation and reconnection with two people in my life.
All too often in our world, ego-lines get drawn, grudges are made, and friendships divide because of it. Two of those happened in my life over the past year. One with a friend named Jason and one with a friend named Mike.
While I believe all conflicts that arise in a friendship have two sides, I’ve come to learn that it is my spiritual journey in 12 Step recovery to always own my part and never point the finger or place blame solely upon the other. Unfortunately, addicts, even those in recovery for a long time like me, still have the tendency to do this from time to time, not wanting to own our own part in some conflict.
When Jason and I had a falling out over a year ago, my ego took over, thinking I knew better for Jason, then Jason knew for Jason. I was wrong for that and eventually realized over the year we didn’t speak that I’d been doing that behavior with him long before the dividing event. After repeated attempts to contact Jason once I understood this, I finally showed up at his job with a peace offering, one of his favorite coffee drinks, and a sincere amends for the part I played in our division. I’m grateful to say that Jason and I are now speaking again and mending the path that was broken, one I feel could have been avoided if I had just kept my ego in check.
As for my friend Mike, while we have struggled from time to time in our differing opinions on several subjects ever since I first met him, the one that became the polarizing event between us was the one that dealt with vaccinated versus unvaccinated people. Sides got drawn because of this intense discussion, which led to three months with not a word spoken between us. In my recovery from addiction, I’ve learned it’s best to at least try to find a higher ground and overcome pride and ego. I did that with Mike by messaging him one day and saying I was open to talk and that our friendship still mattered to me. Thankfully, he did call, and we spent an hour getting honest and open with each other, where the result was our friendship getting a chance to move forward again, rather than not at all.
I honestly believe at the root of every conflict amongst loved ones is pride and ego. Sometimes pride and ego can lead to long periods of silence, silence that can last forever if never addressed. It’s why I’m grateful I overcame my own pride and ego to reach out to two people I do care about and love, to begin the process of healing with two friendships that truly do matter to me.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson