Silly Joke #1
Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside. “Yes,” says Sally, “a lock of my husband’s hair.” “But Larry’s still alive.” “I know, but his hair is gone.”
Silly Joke #2
The President’s Chief Of Staff suggested the President do some much-needed public relations to boost his ratings. It’s decided to do that at a local nursing home in the Washington D.C. vicinity. The President begins his “tour” down the main hallway and passes by a little old man who doesn’t seem to notice him. Sensing this, the President backtracks to the resident and asks, “Do you know who I am?” The little old man looks up from his walker and says, “No, but if you go to the front desk, they can tell you your name.”
Silly Joke #3
A single blonde walks into a bar that has a sign marked: “For Men Only”. “I’m sorry, ma’am,” says the bartender. “We only serve men in this place.” “That’s perfect!” says the blonde. “I’ll take one please!!!”
Bonus Silly Joke
A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin’?” His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. “Oh, no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team.” When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, “How did she know that you drink Budweiser?” “She’s in the Ladies’ Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.” A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says “Hi Davey. Want your usual lap dance, big boy?”Dave’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book. The cabby turns his head and says, “Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
