“I don’t think the way you think. The way you work isn’t the way I work. For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work and the way I think is beyond the way you think.” (Isaiah 55:8-9 MSG)
I was amongst a few people recently having a very interesting conversation surrounding religion and spirituality. One of them would absolutely have labeled themselves as atheist. While I didn’t get too deep into the conversation, given far too often those types of discussions end in tension and arguments, I did express one truth surrounding why I have faith in God, and it dealt specifically with the benefit of living in the maybe.
I live in the maybe every, single day. The maybe I’m speaking of is God actually being real, even though I have no definitive proof of that, which is the very thing that atheists and agnostics alike want. Why I live in the maybe, rather than in a reality of needing definitive proof for my faith in God, is simply because living in the maybe gives me hope. Hope that there is something better than my current unfortunate circumstances in life.
To live each day believing that there is nothing beyond this life and having to accept that I just got dealt a bad hand of cards, especially over the last ten years or so with all my health issues, leaves me with no hope and no desire to keep going. But, living in the maybe, the maybe that there is something far Greater than I. The maybe that there is an actual reason for all of what I’ve been going through and that it’s on a far Higher level of comprehension than I could ever fathom. The maybe that God’s got this, meaning me, in His hands, even on my worst of days. The maybe that my prayers surrounding my health are indeed being answered in ways that are benefitting me even when my mind tries to convince me otherwise. And the maybe that God does have a joyful path for me still ahead. Living with this type of maybe guiding me leaves me with at least a shard of hope, a mustard seed of faith if you will, and a tiny ray of light in a sea of darkness, all of which being just enough for me to keep going and not give up.
Maybe the concept of God was originally created to cope with when life deals us a bad hand of cards, or maybe God has always been there through it all. Maybe God is nothing but something we’ve all made up to handle life on life’s terms, or maybe God is something far beyond anything we will ever be able to understand. I choose to live in the maybe that God is indeed real on every level. Living in this maybe is far more hopeful for my present difficult reality, one that often makes no sense to my limited thinking. So, I choose to live in the maybe that God does exist, because choosing to believe otherwise brings me no comfort whatsoever in a world that often feels unfair and not worth living in anymore.
God, it’s been very hard to have faith lately. But today, I’m asking You to help me to keep living in the maybe and trust that You are at work whether I’m 100 percent sure of You or not. I pray You fill me with joy and peace knowing You’ve got me in Your hands, even when I struggle to believe if You’re even real or there at all.
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson