Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. The youngest of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said quietly, “Good morning son.” “Good morning Mr. Pastor” replied Little Johnny not taking his eyes off the plaque. “Sir, what is this?” he asked. “Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service”, replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque. Little Johnny’s voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, “Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30, because I usually go to your 10:30?!”

Silly Joke #2

A 92 year-old man that was hard of hearing went to the Doctor to get a physical. A few days later the Doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later the Doctor talked to the man and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?” The man replied, “Just doing what you said Doctor, ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.” The Doctor said, “Actually, I didn’t say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful!”

Silly Joke #3

A young American tourist goes on a self-guided tour of a creepy old European castle. Near the end of her tour, she sees a young girl looking around in the last room she’s looking in who asks her how she enjoyed her visit. The tourist admitted to being a bit worried about seeing a ghost in some of the dark cobwebby rooms and passages. “Oh, don’t worry,” says the young girl, “I’ve never seen a ghost all the time I’ve been here.” “How long is that?” asks the tourist. “About three hundred years…”

Bonus Silly Joke

Last summer blonde Ed met a woman while on vacation and fell head over heels in love with her. On the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner and had a serious talk about how they would continue the relationship. “It’s only fair to warn you, I’m a total golf nut,” Blonde Ed said to his lady friend. “I eat, sleep and breathe golf, so if that’s a problem, you’d better say so now.” “Well, if we’re being honest with each other, here goes,” she replied. “I’m really a hooker.” “I see,” Blonde Ed replied, and was quiet for a moment. Then he added, “Well, you know, it’s probably because you’re not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson