Silly Joke #1
A native American went hunting one day in Oklahoma and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by a game warden who didn’t like American Indians. The game warden ordered to the Indian to show his hunting license, and the Indian pulled out a valid Oklahoma hunting license. The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, “This duck ain’t from Oklahoma. This is a Kansas duck. You got a Kansas huntin’ license?” The Indian reached into his wallet and produced a Kansas hunting license. The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said, “This ain’t no Kansas duck. This duck’s from Arkansas. You got a Arkansas license?” The Indian reached into his wallet and produced an Arkansas hunting license. The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said, “This ain’t no Arkansas duck. This here duck’s from South Carolina. You got a South Carolina huntin’ license?” Again the Indian reached into his wallet and brought out a South Carolina hunting license. The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the Indian, “Just where the hell are you from anyway?” The Indian turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, “You tell me, expert…”
Silly Joke #2
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment: shave, shampoo, manicure and haircut, he placed the boy in the chair. Then he said, “I’m going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” When the boy’s haircut was completed and the man still hadn’t returned, the barber said, “Looks like your daddy’s forgotten all about you.” “That wasn’t my daddy,” said the boy. “He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, ‘Come on, son, we’re gonna get a free haircut’.”
Silly Joke #3
A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. ‘Fred,’ he replies. ‘Fred what?’ the officer asks. ‘Just Fred,’ the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and says he’ll give the biker a break and just give him a warning if he can give a good reason for only having a first name. The biker responds, “I used to have a last name but lost it. It’s a long story, so stay with me. I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD. Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.” The officer then walked back way laughing uncontrollably giving him the warning as promised…
Bonus Silly Joke (Adult Humor)
A couple are playing in the annual golf club championship. They are playing in a play off hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has to make. She takes her stance and her husband can see her trembling. She putts and misses, they lose the match. On the way home in the car her husband is fuming, “I can’t believe you missed that putt! That putt was no longer than my ‘willy’.” The wife just looked over at her husband and smiled and said, “Maybe so dear, but it was much harder!”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
