Silly Joke #1
A gorgeous blonde was driving in her car on the highway. Eventually, she crashed into the car in front of her. When a policeman arrived on the scene and approached her, he asked, “Ma’am, are you ok?” She responded, “I’m fine Officer. This all happened because no matter where I turned there was a tree in my way! I went left and there it was and I went right and there it was again!” The officer leaned over and said, “Ma’am that was your air freshener…”
Silly Joke #2
Pam was talking to her friend Allie over a coffee at their favorite cafe. “It seems as if I have spent a lifetime of mouthing mechanically, “Say thank you… Sit up straight… Use your napkin… Close your mouth when you chew… Don’t lean back in your chair…” And just when I finally got my husband squared away, my kids came along!!!
Silly Joke #3
There were two evil brothers. They were rich and used their money to keep their ways from the public eye. They even attended the same church and looked to be perfect Christians. Then, their pastor retired and a new one was hired. Not only could the new pastor see right through the brothers’ deception, but he also spoke well and true, and the church started to swell in numbers. A fundraising campaign was started to build a new assembly. All of a sudden, one of the brothers died. The remaining brother sought out the new pastor the day before the funeral and handed him a check for the amount needed to finish paying for the new building. “I have only one condition,” he said. “At his funeral, you must say my brother was a saint.” The pastor gave his word and deposited the check. The next day the funeral was held and the pastor did not hold back. “He was an evil man,” he said. “He cheated on his wife and abused his family.” After going on in this vein for a small time, he concluded with, “But, compared to his brother, he was a saint.”
Bonus Silly Joke
Two newlyweds were riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, “Honey, I want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go.” “Good idea,” she says. “While you’re in there, pick me up some Dramamine (sea sickness medicine).” The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore and says to the gorgeous blonde clerk, “I’d like a box of condoms and a package of Dramamine, please.” “Yes sir, she says, “but do you mind if I ask you a question? If it makes you nauseous, why do you do it?”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
