Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

A religious education class was almost finished making their models of the nativity scene when the teacher noticed Little Johnny had actually done a lovely job. He had made some animals, Mary, Joseph, three wise men, and the shepherds, each were all there. However, the teacher noticed an extra, rather overweight man in the scene as well.“Who is that person Little Johnny?” she asked.“Oh, that’s Round John Virgin!” said Little Johnny.

Silly Joke #2

A teacher barks at Little Johnny when she sees him blowing a bubble from a wad of chewing gum in his mouth. “Is that bubble gum I see in your mouth Johnny?!” Little Johnny nods. “In the trash can right now Johnny!” Little Johnny looks at the trash can, then back at the teacher, “With the bubble gum?”

Silly Joke #3

The new assistant priest was Little Johnny now all grown up. He was learning how to listen to confessions and an older priest says he’s going to listen in. Several confessions later, the older priest offers a few suggestions. “Cross your arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand,” he says. “Try saying things like, ‘I see, yes, go on. I understand. How did you feel about that?” Johnny tries out the words and gestures and the old priest says, “Good, now, don’t you think that’s a lot better than slapping your knee and saying, ‘No way! You did what?!!!”

Silly Joke #4

An old man goes into the local Social Security Office and fills out an application. He doesn’t have a birth certificate to prove his age which is needed for approval. So he opens his shirt and shows them the entire chest of gray hair. The young female clerk laughs and decides to accept that as proof, as it’s obvious to her anyway the man is well over the required age. The man then goes home to his wife, shows her the approval he received and explains to her how it happened. She replies, “Well maybe you can get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if you can also get disability?”

And here’s one more because I had to leave this super corny one for good measure…

The first time Moses actually went up on Mount Sinai, before God had a chance to say anything, Moses said, “God, I have a pounding headache!!! What do I do?” God responded, “Here, take these two tablets and we’ll talk about it in the morning.”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson