Month: November 2022

Daily Reflection

“Being held by the right person is enough to cure anything…” (Hu YiTian & Shen Yue)

There really is only one thing I want the most in a relationship with someone I call my partner. And it’s most assuredly not sex or anything carnal in nature, things so many relationships get based upon. That thing I want so incredibly these days is just to be held, to be fully embraced, wrapped deep in the arms of one who loves me unconditionally, one whose love fully emanates from within.

There is something truly priceless to have the arms of another wrapped tightly around your chest. It’s something I never got growing up from my parents and I often wish I had. Unfortunately, because I didn’t, I was led onto a path that for the majority of my life landed me in relationships that have been void of this type of love from people who I’d allow to use me more than not.

Being held is an intimacy so deep that it can help make a broken person learn to feel safe again. I haven’t felt safe in a very, very long time and I can’t remember what it feels like anymore to be held that deep within the arms of any other. I long for it, sometimes even dreaming of it, and doing that very thing to myself isn’t the same. It just isn’t.

How many people in my life have labeled me pathetic or needy or God knows what other judgments, all for wanting to be held I’ve lost track of. Wanting to be held is natural and good and truly beautiful in this world, and something I absolutely know God would want of me. Because God puts people in our lives to show that type of love.

The simplest truth is that we are supposed to be the arms of God and ultimately show His love with them. It’s our job to wrap them around those we love and remind them regularly that they are going to be ok, that they’re safe to let go and safe to even cry.

I cry as I write these words and envision a day where I receive this myself, where I can finally fall into the arms of another and heal from this broken mess I’ve become…

Dear God, I pray You bring into my life someone to love me so deeply from within that it’s natural for them to want to hold me and never let go…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Thought For The Day

Today’s quotes surround the subject of not having to go to battle with another, which was what yesterday’s Grateful Heart Monday discussed as well.

“Don’t fight a battle if you don’t gain anything by winning.” (Erwin Rommel)

“Being strong doesn’t always mean you have to fight the battle. True strength is being mature enough to walk away from the nonsense with your had held high.” (Unknown)

“There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it is with themselves.” (Unknown)

“Sometimes the strongest people are the ones who love beyond all faults, cry behind close doors, and fight battles that nobody will ever know about.” (Unknown)

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Grateful Heart Monday

Welcome to another Grateful Heart Monday, where gratitude remains the sole expression of my writing at the beginning of every week, which for today is for knowing I don’t have to go to battle anymore and argue some point where instead I just can walk away.

Recently, when I was standing in my kitchen with a real estate agent that’s been helping Chris to sell his home, I made a comment to her expressing some of deepest fears surrounding the sale and an impending move. Chris didn’t like what he heard in my words and would unleash a rath of fury upon me in front of her, not only embarrassing me, but putting her in an awful position in the process.

When this happened, my brain immediately unsheathed its incredibly sharp sword, and I could feel my blood boiling over within me. How many times I’ve arrived to that very battle with Chris over the past 10 years and slashed that sword in his direction, doing my best to inflict the greatest of damage, is countless.

What I did this time though was a first. I remained silent. And when he finished demoralizing me in front of a woman I barely knew, I thanked her for her time, and walked away, heading back into my bedroom where I crumpled into a massive slew of tears and prayed.

The fact is, I don’t have the fight within me anymore and I’m most certainly have waved the white flag to God by fully surrendering. Going to battle with another, especially, one you’ve loved dearly for so long that got lost somewhere along the way never goes anywhere.

There is never a clear winner whenever two people who care about each other choose to go to battle and draw their swords ready to strike upon the slightest of thing. I learned that far too late in this relationship, as whatever depth of love I thought going to battle could bring back, the reality is, it never did.

I’m grateful today that I finally walked away from a battle that never would have had a clear victor and opted to choose my tears and ultimately God for comfort instead…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson