Silly Joke #1 (Two short ones…)
As my family was leaving Disney World, my daughter waved and said, “Goodbye Minnie!”
My son waved and said, “Goodbye Mickey!”
Then I waved and said, “Goodbye money!!!”
My cousin Jimmy was having a terrible time falling asleep unless he was lying on a pile of old magazines. It turns out he had back issues.
Silly Joke #2
Things to ponder:
– Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
– “I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I Do,” is the longest sentence?
– When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Silly Joke #3
Sunday School Teacher: “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me a ticket into heaven?”
NO!” the children all answered.
Sunday School Teacher: “What if I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me a ticket into heaven?”
Again the answer was, “NO!”
Sunday School Teacher: “Well, then, how about if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all you children and loved my wife with all my heart, would that get me a ticket into heaven?”
Once more they all answered, “NO!”
The Sunday School Teacher was feeling very proud of her class and getting ready to talk about Jesus but wanted to see if anyone had the real answer.
Sunday School Teacher: “Well then, does anyone know how can I get into heaven then?”
Little Johnny, that mischievous boy always saying the most inappropriate of things suddenly shouts out, “You just gotta be dead Teacher!”
Bonus Silly Joke
One day, there was a catastrophic event that caused all humans on Earth to die. To sort things out, everyone went to Heaven. God came in and said, “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who ruled their women on Earth and the other line for the men who were ruled by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter.” With that, the next time God looked, the women were gone and there were two lines. The line of men who were ruled by their women was 1000 miles long, and in the line of men who ruled their women, there was only one man. God became angry and said, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?” The man replied, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
