Silly Joke #1
Teacher: “Little Johnny, why are you late this morning?”
Mischievous Little Johnny: “Its my alarm clock. Everyone got up except me!”
Teacher: Can you please tell me how did the alarm clock made you the only one not to get up?”
Mischievous Little Johnny: “Well, you see, there are eight of us in the my family and the alarm clock was only set for seven!!!”
Silly Joke #2
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of the paperwork, he waited anxiously as the employer reviewed it all. Once the employer was done, he said, “We actually do have an opening for someone like you…” “That’s great!” he said, “What is it?” “It’s called the door!”
Silly Joke #3
Three nuns died and visited St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said he would admit them if they each answered one question.He turned to the first nun and asked, “Who was the first man?” “Adam,” the nun confidently replied. The trumpets sounded and the angels sang as the gates swung open and she walked into heaven. St. Peter turned to the second nun. “Who was the first woman?” “Eve,” she replied. The trumpets sounded and the angels sang. Then St. Peter turned to the last nun. “What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?” The nun paused for a moment. “Gee, that’s a hard one!” The trumpets sounded and the angels sang and the gates swung open for her.
Bonus Silly Joke
An elderly married couple was traveling by car on a road trip. After almost 11 hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room in a nice hotel. They told the manager their intentions was just to get a few hours of sleep and then get back on the road. When they checked out five hours later, the manager handed them their room bill for $350.00. The husband exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high. He told the manager that though it’s a nice hotel, the rooms certainly weren’t worth $350.00 for five hours. The manager nodded and told him that $350.00 was their “standard room rate.” The husband wasn’t happy with the explanation and demanded an adjustment to their bill. The manager then explained that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool, a workout room, and a sauna that were available for them to use. “But we didn’t use or have time for any of them,” the husband said. ”Well, they were here, and you could have,” explained the manager. The manager went on to explain that the couple could also enjoy their huge complimentary breakfast buffet before they leave. “We really do have the best breakfast around!” he said. “But we don’t have time for that and need to get back on the road!” the husband said. “Well, it’s there and you could have enjoyed it if you want…” the manager replied. The manager obviously unmoved by the couple’s pleas wouldn’t budge. Eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay the exorbitant amount. But he didn’t have the money so he asked his wife to write a check. She did and gave it to the manager. The manager looked at the check and said, “Ma’am, your check is only made out for $50.00!” he said. ”That’s correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me!” she replied. “What?! I didn’t sleep with you!” exclaimed the manager. “Well, too bad. I was here, and you could have.”
Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson
