Silly Joke Friday

Silly Joke #1

The teacher was trying to help his students on map reading. He spent the class explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes. Towards the end of class, the teacher asked his students, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…” Little Johnny, that mischievous little boy who always said the most inappropriate of things as a kid and still did as a young adult responded, “Well sir, I guess you’d be eating alone!”

Silly Joke #2

An elementary school teacher decides to pole the class on the difficulty of last night’s homework assignment: How many people were able to complete the assignment without their parents help? About 75% of the class raised their hands. How many people we able to complete the assignment with a little help from your parents? The remaining students all raised their hands, all except for Little Johnny. The teacher then asked Little Johnny who always said the most inappropriate of things, why he hadn’t raised his hand for either question. Little Johnny responded, “Well, you asked if I had completed my assignment on my own or with a little help from my parents. In my case, it was neither because my parents did my entire assignment for me!”

Silly Joke #3

Little Johnny who always said the most inappropriate of things came home eating a big candy bar. Seeing the candy bar, his mother remembered he had already spent all his allowance money. Surprised, she asked him where he got it. “I bought it at the store with the dollar you gave me,” he said.”But that dollar was for Sunday School,” his mother replied. Smiling, the boy said, “I know, Mom, but the Pastor met me at the door at the church and he let me in for free!”

Bonus Silly Joke (Adult Humor)

A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell. The wife answers the door. “Hi, is Tony home?”  “No, he went to the store.” “Well, you mind if I wait?”  “No come in.” They sit down and the friend says, “You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I’d give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one.” Sara thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell – a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a 100 bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and Chris says, “They are so beautiful I’ve got to see the both of them. I’ll give you another 100 bucks if I could just see the both of them together.” Sara thinks about this and says what the hell opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table then says he can’t wait any longer for Tony and leaves. A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says, “You know, your weird friend Chris came over.” Tony responds, “Well I guess he can be a little weird sometimes, but hey, did he happen to drop off the $200 he owes me?”

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson

Question For The Day

Today’s question is…

If you suddenly were tasked to create a new volunteer-based organization in life, what would it be for?

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson


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Yes, I Like To Help People, Just Because…

More than a decade ago now, you would probably never hear out of anyone’s mouth who knew me that Andrew Arthur Dawson was a guy who liked to help people just because. Because Andrew Arthur Dawson back then didn’t like to help anyone but himself unless there was some angle or kick back or something coming back to him. I thought of that today when I awoke with less than 3 hours of sleep in the midst of my vacation and still went with my best friend Cedric to his church to help him decorate some bushes with Christmas lights for an upcoming living nativity scene they’re having.

On some level, what was so ironic about this is how I awoke this morning and felt both my old and new self at the same time. The old self-centered one said, “I’m too tired, too stressed out, and really too everything. I’m sure Cedric will understand if I opt to just lay low and sleep more of the day away. After all, it’s my vacation.” But the 12 Step Recovery and God-centered selfless individual in me also said, “It’s your best friend and he needs your help. And you’re here to spend time with him. You may not get that moment again.” Thankfully, I listened to my Higher Self and tagged along, even surprising Cedric along the way, as he verbally recollected all those years ago when I only thought of myself in help-needed circumstances like this.

With 12 Step Recovery and God at my helm, I have truly learned to love helping people, just because. Honestly, I would give the shirt off my back just to bring Light to another soul today and I so mean that. I find great joy in seeing another shine. I only wish I had learned this valuable lesson long ago when I first got sober from alcohol and drugs. Sadly, I didn’t and spent far too long caught up in myself and countless addictions that only made me into a person who looked at what he could get out of the world and everyone around him.

It’s amazing that Cedric stood by my side during all those selfish years. I’m absolutely sure I wouldn’t have if he had acted the same way I was with him back then. Our friendship today has withstood a lot of division solely because that selfishness is gone and now I bring to the table the very same thing he practices so diligently. And we both give thanks to just two common factors for this, our recovery from addiction, and our devotion to serving a Higher Power’s needs before our own.

So yes, I don’t help people anymore because of what I want to get back. I don’t keep some secret repository of all the things I did for another hoping to get it back someday. And I don’t hold a prior thing I did for another over their head either. I simply just like to help people, just because, just because I love God, and just because I love living out the true purpose of 12 Step recovery, one that lies in the 12th Step itself…

Peace, love, light, and joy,
Andrew Arthur Dawson